Am I sexual? Sort of.

Last year we interviewed Nick Carter (pictured right, with a dolphin) for something else and were pleased to find out that he is a very nice man who can actually have a laugh about things. He told us all about his MySpace page and even invited us for a drink in his favourite Florida bar (that’s ‘invited’ in the sense of, ‘he did not invite us anywhere‘).

Anyway. Word reaches us of a new Backstreet Boys remix doing the rounds, which is not a sentence you hear in Blogsville very often, but probably should. The track is by Hungary’s Headshotboyz (nothing to do with porn) and it is basically a supa dope and fly bouncefest of a take on ‘Everybody’, by the aforementioned “white vocal harmony group”.

It is one of those ‘33% amazing, 33% ridiculous, 33% rubbish, 1% other’ sort of records but it is a lot of fun in a weekend kind of way and, of course, gave us a perfect excuse to pull out the old Nick Carter anecdote. Which is the most important thing.

Have a listen: Backstreet Boys - Everybody (Headshotboyz remix)

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OBLIGATORY GIRL TALK POST

Not content with stealing songs, Greg Gillis, aka Girl Talk, is now nicking ideas. Namely, that of releasing an album over the internet and inviting people to pay whatever they feel is a fair price for it. Click on the picture below for the action.

Offering zero dollars (not that we’d know anything about that, being incredibly rich) gives you the opportunity to say why (something that was missing from ‘In Rainbows’ - ‘BECAUSE IT’S RADIOHEAD FOR FUCK’S SAKE!’) by choosing your excuse from a list that includes the spectacularly blustery “I am part of the press, radio, or music industry”.

The album itself, the usual mish-mash of pop samples mixed with hip hop beats and rhymes, will be familiar if you’ve heard ’Night Ripper’. This collection is more polished and sees Gillis honing the technical side of his work, but at the expense of the anarchic, cut ’n’ paste thrills that typified his previous release. The upside being that the contents are more cohesive, and less like listening to someone flick through the music channels, than they were before.

So there you go.

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"He was wearing dark shades and he went the wrong way"

REMEMBRANCE MONDAY
Bow Wow Wow‘s ‘Go Wild In The Country’ is one of the worst post-WWII affronts to humanity, but that doesn’t stop the following video being interesting (if you’re the sort of person who has heard of Paul Morley, probably).

What does it teach us?

:: Tahita Bulmer’s look was so much more original in the 80s
:: the presentation of music on television has changed irrevocably in 20 years
:: self-effacement will never die
:: nor will AMAZING MOMENTS IN INTERVIEWS (3.48)
:: two people talking about pop music will always ‘throw up gold’.



Amazing.

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New Annie album: amazing

If you like

:: Girls Aloud
:: Songs that sound like ‘Chewing Gum’
:: Songs that sound NOTHING AT ALL like ‘Chewing Gum’
:: The Bangles and so on
:: Franz Ferdinand
:: Chants that go

WHAT
DO
YOU
WANT
Whaddya want for BREAKFAST?

:: etc

you will fucking love it.

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Blaine Harrison gets over things pretty quickly

March: the lead singer of popular beat combo Mystery Jets was vowing to search high and low for a girl who’s name he did not know. He was utterly besotted with her, which pained him greatly because - fucking hell - he’d lost her phone number :(

June: he’s in love with some drummer bird who lives next door.



Amazing.

Anyway, there’s this remix of ‘Two Doors Down’ knocking about by Duke Dumont which, it has to be said, is bloody brilliant. Even though it doesn’t sound much anything like the original (there’s definitely a bit of ‘Paranoid Android’ at the three minute mark), the ‘reconstruction’ builds up a wall of sound so intense you’re likely to start trying to pull your own face off with your elbows. Which is never a bad thing.

Fuck it; it’s Friday - have an mp3: click here (zshare).

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In support of Phil Collins (??!!?!?!?)

This 'missive' just in, from someone whose acquaintance with the ‘great’ man’s music amounts to more than mistakenly thinking he was the guy in the gorilla costume on that WELL LOL advert from a while back.

I write in agreement with the correspondent who contacted last week’s Observer Music Monthly in support of Phil Collins. I wish I could meet the individual to shake their hand and say good job. I think the entire music press does need to wake up and admit that from his modest days as an ace rock drummer, Phil developed into one of the most prolific and perceptive singer songwriters of the last 3 decades (winning 7 Grammys (including 1985's Album of the Year for 'No Jacket Required'), 4 BRITS, 2 Golden Globes and an Academy Award in the process).

Sadly, because Phil was also an outstanding writer of that much derided music form (namely the ballad), some of the 'fashionable' rags such as NME and Q have attacked him over the years. They refuse to realise his powerful craftsmanship, and the ongoing delay in awarding him the BRIT for Outstanding Contribution to British Music is a shame on our nation. Simply put, if Phil had hair, he would have more right than any other wannabe 5-minute of fame popster to smash it back. I'd certainly be on hand to pass him a comb.

Yours, DJ Ayres.

Literally amazing.

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A problem shared is a problem doubled

Kelly Osbourne, as director of both the BBC and News Corporation’s in-house counselling services, is more than qualified when it comes to giving advice. It should come as no surprise, then, that after 12 years’ loyal service, both organisations recently allowed Kelly to start offering support to the public, via Radio 1’s Sunday Night whinge thing and the pages of The Sun newspaper respectively.

If Kelly’s help is good enough to get a trouserless Greg Dyke down from the roof of Television Centre at four in the morning, it’s good enough for the rest of the population.

It’s just a shame that some of them couldn’t be bothered to think of their own problems, as these examples from Miss Osbourne’s first Sun column show.

“Hiya Kelly,
I have been all over the place the last few months and have taken an overdose and self-harmed. I have been getting help but I feel like I’m getting worse. Please could you give me some advice. I really could do with it. Chris”

“Hiya Kelly,
I’m a 14-year-old girl and I have taken an overdose. I drink alcohol a lot and I self-harm. In the last few weeks my friends have been getting into drugs and I don’t want to. I want to go out with them but I don’t want to get in with the drugs. Please help me, Kelly, I could do with it. Katie”

He doesn’t mention it but Chris’s friends are probably on drugs too. Kids these days are so unimaginative. And what’s wrong with being off your box 24/7? It certainly makes going to church more fun. All our best friends are on drugs. It’s just how things are.

If you would like your problem to be ignored and made up by a sub-editor, email everyone’s favourite teen trouble shooter at kelly.osbourne@the-sun.co.uk.

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Coldplay: A SPECIAL INVESTIGATION

John Lydon, who was once in a band that called the Queen a wanker, or something, hit the nail on the head recently when he said that Coldplay’s music was nothing special, but “it does have a few nice tones here and there”.

With that in mind, we trawled through the band’s new album (second half much better than the first) in search of said nice tones. Here is what we found.

Song: ‘Lost!’
Nice tone: The solo that sounds a bit like Guitar Hero on ketamine is quite nice.

Song: ‘42’
Nice tone: This is nice in general but the bit that goes “woah-oh-woah-oh” is great.

Song: ‘Yes’
Nice tone: The Middle Eastern string solo (2.52) and the bit at the end of the intro where it goes all wonky are pretty good.

Song: ‘Viva La Vida’
Nice tone: “Roman cavalry choirs are singing…”

Song: ‘Violet Hill’
Nice tone: The guitar bit that goes “de-ner-NER-NEEUURGH“.

Very nice.

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A dance music compilation for people who do not like dance music

Didn't they stop this sort of horseshit in 1996?

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The script says it all...

“Remember the Stone Roses at Spike Island?”
No

“Oasis at Knebworth?”
Vaguely.

“Remember when you still had hair?”
Still got it.

“Relive the memories…”
Oh fuck off.

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Well, they were pretty miserable

Here is a quote from Thursday’s Guardian that had our eyebrows raising faster than ticket sales at a festival The Kooks have just pulled out of:

“Emo - short for ‘emotional hardcore’ - has a large teenage following, with many sporting characteristic dark clothing and dyed black hair. Notable bands include My Chemical Romance and Embrace.”

Before you consult your copy of ‘Good Will Out’ looking for more reasons to kill yourself than the 14 that are already on there, you should probably be aware that the Embrace being referred to above is actually an American post-hardcore band from the mid-80s, not the foghorn-fronted West Yorkshire drone merchants we all know and 'love'.

So that clears that up, then.

(Thanks to Holly C for the ‘heads up‘.)

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"And they'll be around for ever!"

The thing about low-budget, one-shot videos is that they are incredibly boring, even if they do save the record company lots of money and allow music channels to cut them off halfway through without really losing any of the plot. Once you’ve seen the first few frames, you’ve seen them all.

Still, at least in this one - for Frankmusik’s new single ’In Step’ - you get to see a girl in her pants. And isn’t that the most important thing?



Yes.

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Something to listen to while you get your party frock on and that

You know that feeling on a Friday afternoon when you realise it’s nearly the weekend and you’ve got ABSOLUTELY BOLLOCK ALL new to listen to until Monday? Well, we don’t, because we get all the latest sounds piped directly to our brainstems from the hype machine, but that isn’t the point.

THE POINT IS.

If you’re one of the sorry lot who’ve run out of tuneage for the week and need just that little bit extra to ‘tide’ you ‘over’ for the next two days, how does a fresh 60 minute mix from Bristol outfit Outlaws sound?*

‘How does fucking hell sound?’ should be your immediate response.

Well, to promote the physical release of their new CD, ‘It’s Not French, But It’s Fucking ‘Aving It’ - a party-tastic mix of over 50 rave, house and soul records old and new - they’ve decided to… er… RELEASE IT TO EVERY BLOG ON THE PLANET. Must be some modern ‘business model’, or something. Anyway. You can click on the album’s cover below if you want to download it (from zshare).

*Rhetorical question - don’t all start emailing in once you’ve heard it.

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SOMEONE HELP HER

What's worse: that 16 year old 'Krystle Loy' wrote to a magazine confessing that she'd like to sound like The Pigeon Detectives, or that said mag spent half a page telling her how it might be achieved?

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He gets all the big name collaborators

Question: does the new, Calvin Harris-produced Dizzee Rascal single, ‘Dance Wiv Me’ just sound like a Calvin Harris song with Dizzee Rascal rapping over the top?

Answer at the 45 second mark.



Ah, those ‘trademark’ synths.

We sat listening to this song in someone’s office in London (how ‘media’) about two months ago and had a bit of a giggle at its ‘familiar’ stylings. Since then the track has grown on us considerably, like a sort of cheeky, playa tale-based rash. The best bits are the chorus and the part where Dizzee goes on about wanting to be “behind your backbone” - so far the only reference he’s made to his shady past as a backstreet chiropractor.

Fingers crossed this is the hit that ‘Stand Up Tall’ fucking well should have been.

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This blog's in love

The Presets are an electronic duo from ‘down under’ (Australia) who first came to our attention with the pounding ‘n’ massive question-based stomper ‘Are You The One?’, which, if it wasn’t on our Best of 2006* list, probably should have been.

That song was all fine and dandy in the context we heard it - ie surrounded by a load of amazing electro gems on the wonderful ‘Digital Penetration’ compilation - but will the band be any good without various artists backing them up? And without ‘Are You The One?’

WELL.

We’ve been ‘living with’ the album for a couple of months now and can safely confirm that not only is it louder and more Australian than Shane Warne noisily cheating on his wife after 12 crates of ‘tinny brew’ - it’s also utterly, astoundingly and terrifyingly brilliant.

‘Apocalypso’ is a cacophony of million-part harmonies and thundering electro bangers, with more layers than a really fucking good lasagne. At times menacing and at others deeply charming, listening to it is like going on a date with someone who can’t decide if they want to sleep with you or kill you. In other words, wholeheartedly recommended.

So that clears that up, then.

*2006 was a year that happened about eighteen months ago. Popular music at the time included ‘My Chemical Romance’ and ‘Gnarls Barkley’.

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Another half-baked 'theory'

Adele - who isn’t the one who pretends to cry outside tube stations but the one who can actually be quite funny when she isn’t being a sullen sod - has got a new song out, called ‘Cold Shoulder’.

Obviously, it is terrible, but the accompanying remix by Basement Jaxx - who are not the ones who did that one about block rockin’ beats but the ones who collaborated with JC Chasez - is literally quite good indeed.

This reminds us of the time Adele burped out the not-as-terrible-and-actually-quite-good-if-you’re-in-a-tearful-Sunday-night-sort-of-mood ‘Hometown Glory’ as a single, in that it too was improved by a bit of tweakery, courtesy of Night Facilities.

Which must mean it’s time for a massive generalisation!

Here it comes.

Adele‘s music: not very good unless it’s a remix.

Right.

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Original Ting Tings artwork uncovered

Here is the ultra-rare homemade sleeve for The Ting Tings' last single, the chart-slaying 'That's Not My Name'. Only four copies were made, so if you've got one prepare to become very rich. Just as soon as Sotheby's start flogging memorabilia associated with the musical projects of arty types from Salford, that is.

Here is the Spanish version:



Nice to see them going with the 'mouse staring at a rabbit's gassy fart' angle, there.

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Looks like the new bassist and drummer are cliking nicely... (sound of suicide note being penned)

The amazing The Clik Clik have splashed a not inconsiderable amount of money on the video for their new single ‘Did You Wrong’. Written and directed by maverick auteur Michel Gondry, the clip follows a young man with a cartoon head as he journeys to purchase a sex manual, which he hopes will stop him making love to people in an incorrect fashion.



The close-ups of Maya are a bit pleasant, aren’t they?

We will give both the song and its visual accompaniment a solid B+, although they need to do something about getting ‘Can’t Take You Anywhere’ ‘out to radio’ pretty sharpish.

Read our interview with the band by clik-ing (HAHAHA) here.

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