hip young gunslinger

Why are you still here?

2011-03-15T17:07:00.005Z

Go and read this, the best blog ever, instead.

Employers law advice from Peninsula

2011-03-15T16:53:00.000Z

In employment law, it is only too easy to make mistakes that could cost you a fortune or harm your reputation. Peninsula, one of the UK's top providers of legal services to businesses, can help if anything goes wrong. Employers can be guarded from the costs associated with tribunals due to the indemnified advice we offer our clients. Throughout the tribunal proceedings, your business will be presented in the best light possible by Peninsula's experienced advocates, while the in-house legal team holds your hand.

Of course, we hold that prevention is better than a cure. In addition to our HR outsourcing options, we therefore also provide clients with round-the-clock advice and resources in health and safety and employers law. This way, employers can be sure that their business has the help it needs to get compliant with its legal obligations, and they have leading expertise on hand when they need it.

Making it easy

Our employers law advice is supported by the invaluable BusinessWise online advice source, reserved for our clients. BusinessWise makes overseeing everyday health and safety and employment law obligations a lot simpler, and furthermore, can be used at any time, from any computer in the world with an internet connection.

A few of the most appreciated employment law tools in the BusinessWise service facilitate the management of a safety policy. This time-consuming chore can now be made easy with the fire risk assessment software or SafetyWise Responsibilities Planner.

Find out more

Problems can also be addressed immediately and in person. There will be a dedicated member of our team waiting to help whenever Peninsula clients ring our employers law advice line.

Become a Peninsula client today to gain access to these exclusive tools; don't put it off until you have an employment tribunal on your hands.

If you are a member of the media and need any further assistance, would like to discuss case studies for a particular feature, or be added to our media contact list, feel free to contact Sammual-James McLoughlin, Head of Media, Press and Public Relations at Peninsula Business Services.

Go away from here

2010-02-20T00:59:00.006Z

Hello HYG 'fans'. This blog has got a new home. And a new name. It's still pretty much the same old waffle but without the pink background.

It is called 'Survivor Envy', for some reason.

There you will find stuff about:

>> Music

>> Clubs

>> Other things

Visit the 'latest and greatest' music blog to hit the internet right now.

THANKS.

Some songs we have been listening to

2009-03-03T19:45:00.005Z

We haven’t done one of these for a while. Here’s the latest shit we’ve been caning in 320.

Marina and the Diamonds – Mowgli’s Road
Purely amazing yodel-based eccentripop from Marina and her actually non-existent backing crew. This sounds like Tori Amos leading a band of angels down a spiral staircase to another dimension. Nothing, as far as we can tell, to do with the Jungle Book :(

VV Brown – Quick Fix
VV inspires polka-dotted arse wiggling with yet more cartoonish retropop, this time mixing her Monster Mash-tastic sound with pounding drums and a hint of surf guitar.

Calvin Harris – I’m Not Alone
Everyone’s favourite Scottish electropop star returns with some epic arms aloft-type shenanigans. In the words of humanitarian messiah Pete Tong, “fancy some euphoric?” YES PLEASE.

The Prodigy – Invaders Must Die (LP)
Occasionally exciting but mostly unnecessary banging and clattering from Liam Howlett, featuring sidemen Keith Flint and Maxim Reality, who chip in with ‘menacing’ ‘vocal’ ‘stabs’. That bit where ‘Omen’ kicks back in and sounds like a fairly decent car going into fifth gear is pretty good.

Empire Of The Sun – We Are The People (Modernaire remix)
Band of the moment see their windswept wonder given a groovesome gothdisco makeover by local heroes Modernaire, who you can see live at the Deaf Institute this Friday (6th) (get more clubbing and music-type updates at this here Manchester club blog).

Lady Sovereign – So Human
We’ve been listening to the new stuff by ‘The Sov’ but will probably do a separate post on that.

Mongrel – Hit From The Morning Sun (96 Bulls remix)
Highly politicised ‘n’ controversial supergroup headed by former reverend the Rev. John ‘The Reverend’ McClure reverend get themselves a bass-heavy reswizzle on this fidgety main room edit by Melbourne outfit 96 Bulls, who, incidentally, are named after the number of bovine beasts it takes to produce enough shit for one of McClure’s onstage rants.

Newsflash! LOL

2009-03-03T19:37:00.002Z

S'up. Word reaches 'HYG Towers' that digital disco Clique are lining up a massively amazing special guest for their slot at the Mint Lounge at the end of this month (27th, FYI).

We'll give you all the details as soon as things are confirmed, but here are some clues to keep you guessing:

1) It is a person
2) They will be playing some records
3) It is not someone from a band
4) Or is it
5) Etc

Who could it be??!!!

Little Boots live alert

2009-02-22T17:04:00.006Z

Let’s have a look at this video of Little Boots fannying around with a... thing.

PUT THE JOKE ABOUT THE ETCH-A-SKETCH HERE.

But why are we looking at this video?

Well, in case you haven’t heard, Little Boots is playing at Night & Day on the 7th March.

Various people have been busy selling limbs in order to get tickets for the show, but two folks who needn’t worry are Sam and James from hot new dancepop night S’il Vous Plait, because they – lucky fuckers – will be warming up for ‘The Boots’ with a selection of their finest finery.

If you’d like to learn more about S’il Vous Plait, some illiterate fool did a Q&A with them that you can read by clicking here. On the same website you can find a review of Little Boots’ headline slot at last year’s Popjustice In The City showcase, where the same illiterate fool crowbarred in the line

2009 will be a big year for Little Boots

purely so that, when her album goes Top 30, he will be able to feel a momentary glow of satisfaction, before reverting to the crushing void of self-worth he normally inhabits.

FYI it’s not an Etch A Sketch with flashing lights that Little Boots is playing with, as impressive as that would be. It is in fact a Yamaha Tenori-on. So now you know.

A bit harsh, surely?

2009-02-19T21:01:00.004Z

We're not exactly Duffy's biggest fan, but surely the Daily Mail's take on her picking up three Brit Awards last night is a bit over the top...

Spotted!!!

2009-02-19T20:57:00.001Z

The new Basshunter video being filmed in Sheffield.

"It was so amazing my eyes bled," says our spy.

Brit Awards 2009: live blogging

2009-02-19T20:46:00.003Z

Or not. We were out last night (see below) so we sent roving reporter Holly C to her sofa to get all the dirt on the Brit Awards 2009. Her special report follows.

The Brits Awards 2009, observations:

Bad things:

1) Bono in eyeliner. At least now we know why he never removes his glasses.

2) Duffy winning best album. Literally WTF?! Granted I can't stand Radiohead and Coldplay but that left Elbow who won the sodding Mercury and whose album has topped various lists voted for by the 'industry' (the same 'industry' who vote for the Brits...) and the Ting Tings who made a fantastic pop album. They've basically given the award to a woman whose only 'talent' is being the 60s. The entire decade.

3) Fern Cotton trying to present.

4) Kylie's inability to move her face.

5) The Tings Tings/ Estelle 'collaboration'. Now I might be wrong, but I thought the whole point of a collaboration was to do something a bit different, meld songs and artists together to create the ultimate in pop spectacle. On paper, like the Girls Aloud/ Sugababes Comic Relief single, it should have been amazing. In practice, it was like one of those bad dreams you have where you suddenly find yourself in an exam room with no idea what you're meant to be doing. At the very least, if you're going to do a 'mash up', make sure the songs you use are the same fucking BPM! What you had was not a collaboration but two gigs taking place simultaneously on the same stage.

6) Girls Aloud not winning best band.

Good things:

1) Girls Aloud. The fan dancing, the dresses, the second set of dresses, Sarah's speech. Utterly perfect.

2) Elbow winning best band. Personally I'm surprised it wasn't Duffy but at least it meant we didn't have to endure Coldplay or Radiohead.

3) The spotlight operator leaving Duffy's face in darkness for the first half of her performance.

Other things:

1) Are Take That going in a new Kraftwerk inspired direction?

2) Why was Lady Ga Ga dressed as a chamberpot for the PSB performance?

3) What the hell is wrong with Duffy's face? She's only 24, that can't be natural. Or is the 60s look that of a blow up doll?
.

We went to watch Tricky last night and it was exciting

2009-02-19T20:32:00.004Z

We went to watch famous Bristolian whisperer Tricky perform last night (see the incredibly professional gig photography below). It was very exciting. It was probably more exciting than watching the Brit awards on television, but also – if you think about it – not as exciting at all, really.

Here are some of the exciting things that happened at the gig:

:: Tricky was naughty and smoked on stage – does he not know there is a smoking ban??!!

:: There was nearly a fight between Tricky and the security guard who tried to make him put the cigarette (it was definitely a cigarette and nothing else) out. Cue hilarious intervention by a member of the singer’s entourage.

:: Simon Price (or someone who looked a lot like Simon Price, with the pointy hair and those things he has on top of his head) was there, nodding.

:: Lots of people from Chorlton went and shouted things like “Yea’ man” as they danced. They must have been happy because they all had big grins on their faces and they all tilted their heads back and grabbed at the air around them as if groping a warm and soft blanket.

:: We think they were on drugs.

:: Tricky’s encore lasted 40 minutes and consisted of three songs.

:: THREE SONGS IN FORTY MINUTES.

:: A potentially amazing cover of ‘Ace Of Spades’ was cut short by a curfew-crazed venue, with Tricky announcing that he hopes to never play there again.

:: Tricky’s set was engaging and intense, like a phone call from an ex boyfriend, rising and falling from troughs of pin-dropping quietness to peaks of cacophonous noise. Material from last year’s ‘Knowle West Boy’ album sat well alongside older tracks, including a brain-melting rendition of ‘Karmacoma’ (or ‘Overcome’, or whatever he wants to call it).

Overall: 7/10

We did a full review of the gig that you can read on this website here.

Also we did an article about Tricky a couple of weeks ago which you could have read if you'd just taken the time to click on the words 'article about Tricky' earlier in this sentence.

Brit Awards 'GOLD'

2009-02-19T20:19:00.003Z

Substantial thanks to friend of the blog and Clique promoter Ian, who got in touch recently with some excellent footage from the famously distastrouts (Microsoft so-called Word actually allowed that typo – what a piece of fucking shit).

Anyway, the famously disastrous 1989 Brit Awards, starring Mick Fleetwood and Sam Fox, a double act who would later go on to inspire the name of popular beat combo the Fleet Foxes. Probably.

You can view the ceremony in ten chapters by cliking the link above.

When you do, look out for these highlights, as chosen by our correspondent:

- Kenneth Baker rightly feeling the HATE of uk yoof
- Bros live, following up that 'I watch you crumble like a very old wall' lyric with some tremendously shit scatting into a guy's sax
- Every single time Sam Fox and Mick Fleetwood do or say anything
- The whole Cliff Richard Tory apologist shitfest (keep an eye out for when he's walking down the stairs past a scummy old man smoking a cig like a tramp waiting for a bus)
- The Four Tops/Boy George lolfest
- The way Tanita Tikaram and all them other worthy and now pointless singer-songwriters combine faux-humility with an "I am creating important art, deify me" vibe.
- Annie Lennox twatting herself in the eye with her spikey Brit award
- Carol Decker's wildly inappropriate melismatics in that final horrorshow song
- Phil Collins being the most coked-up person ever seen anywhere ever

and countless countless more.

Enjoy.

Hello again

2009-02-19T19:58:00.003Z

We’re back. Long time off from music blog duties. While we’ve been away, blah blah, Lady Gaga, blah blah, ‘Put A Donk On It’ blah blah blah, Girls Aloud record run of Top Ten singles – blah blah blah – The Saturdays amazing/annoying, blah, Kid Cudi Crookers cover blah blah, Twitter, astonishing new Calvin Harris single blah blah blah, La Roux, ridiculous new Pussycat Dolls single, Christmas, New Year, Ladyhawke amazingness, some other stuff we can’t remember.

Let’s celebrate our return with a video from last night’s Brit awards. It is the Pet Shop Boys doing their Lifetime of Achievement in Outstanding Contributions to Pop in the Music Industry performance.

Neil Tennant is pretty cool, isn’t he? It’s not often you get to edit the greatest magazine of all time and be in one of the best pop bands ever. Fucking hell.

The Birthday Party

2008-12-05T16:36:00.003Z

hip young gunslinger, like the Queen and Cheryl Tweedy on Girls Aloud’s 2007 calendar, has two birthdays. The first, September 25, marks the very first time we posted ‘content’ on the blog. It was a lengthy (827 WORDS) rant about something Kasabian had said about Justin Timberlake.

Our second official birthday, December 5, represents the date we started posting stuff to the blog ‘full-time’ (ie every now and again). That particular piece was an in-depth analysis of the new Girls Aloud calendar. hyg: always tackling the big issues.

Today is the second second birthday of our little music blog. It has been a very nice two years. At times we have felt like not bothering and at times we have felt like not being here at all but that was always for different reasons. Overall, it’s been fun.

Here are some people we would like to say thank you/hello to on this momentous occasion. This lot have been brilliant in various help and support-based ways. Apologies to anyone we’ve missed out:

Peter Robinson, Danny McFadden, Holly Coy, Sarah Lord, Ian Jones, all the people who fixed up interviews, gave us stuff or got us into gigs for free, Melissa Rose, Justin Heaton, Damien Johnstone, Gary Ryan, various people at CityLife.co.uk, Rachael Burns, Jon Grant, James Morton, Mat Payne and everyone who has stopped by for a read.

Many happy returns etc

x

Master Shortie: not very much like Adele

2008-12-05T15:33:00.001Z

Here is the video for Dead End by Master Shortie. If you haven’t heard of Master Shortie, he is a 19 year old MC/producer ‘type’ from London. His real name is not Master Shortie. It is Theo Kerlin. In many ways, Master Shortie is the new Adele. Let’s have a look at some of those ways:

:: He is from London
:: He went to the Brit School for a bit
:: Um
:: He mixes fluoro indie, grime and pop to make thrustworthy party records
:: Probably not that last one.

So, as we have seen, Master Shortie is nothing like Adele.

Let’s have a look at the video for Dead End, then. The song is an upbeat indiegrime stomp, which is basically about Master Shortie reading far too much into looking at an attractive girl. He sees her in the first verse and spends the rest of the song going on about how he would quite like to have sex with her, but how he can’t have sex with her, because he’s got a girlfriend, for a start, and he lives with his mum and doesn’t like having sex when his mum’s at home.

Bonus feature: samosa-based simile.

Observe:

You might not like it at first but it does get better.

Visit the official Master Shortie blog.

The Quietus' mime guy: we know him (sort of)

2008-12-05T14:45:00.003Z

Some of you, particularly those of you that read Popbitch, the Daily Star, the Time Out Chicago blog or the b3ta newsletter, may already have seen this, but the Quietus have got a fun little game at the moment which basically involves looking at a mime and then guessing which classic album covers he is recreating.

You can play it by clicking the picture below.

So, did we mention that we know (sort of) the Quietus mime guy? He is a very nice chap. We stayed at his house once when we went to London, sleeping on a settee outside his bedroom. Apart from that night we got drunk and passed out on his bed and then got kicked out when he came home at 4am. Anyway. Very nice and a fine actor. He was also in this:

Fiery.

Roisin Murphy live: amazing

2008-12-05T13:01:00.005Z

We went to watch Roisin Muprhy live last week. It was amazing. Here is a review:

“Next time, more anarchy,” pouts Roisin Murphy from her position atop a heavily oversubscribed crowd barrier. And while her sentiment may be commendable, most of the audience would probably settle for “Next time, less jazz.”

Tonight sees the Irish electro psychopath giving textbook demonstrations of her best and worst sides. For the former, she wheels out seven-minute, kitchen sink versions of her biggest hits accompanied by kaleidoscopic rave visuals that both dazzle and terrify. For the latter, she sits on a stool and croons smoky lounge numbers towards a hat with a face.

While Roisin’s noodlier sojourns take her dangerously close to losing the crowd, the times she slips back into electropop superstar mode have them eating out of her wildly expressive hands.

Disco dancing with a huge reflective disc pulled down across her face, it’s easy to see why many people find Murphy’s visual style as captivating as her line in polished machine pop.

She opens the show with a salvo of Overpowered and You Know Me Better, tonight rendered as epic electro behemoths. Alongside mesmerising visuals, each builds until no one there – least of all Roisin – is quite sure what is going on.

After a regrettable BPM dip and several costume changes, Roisin blasts through some of her more uptempo numbers, including an encore featuring her version of Bryan Ferry’s Slave To Love, supercharged to the point where it sounds even more like the Doctor Who theme after a strong dose of poppers than normal.

She closes the set with a gingham deer strapped to her back, mock-fighting her dancers. If only all of the show could have been so entertaining.

Summary:

:: Ridiculous costume alert: basically two shop dummies strapped to her front and back.
:: Amazing dancing.
:: Disappointing jazz sections.
:: The good thing about Roisin is that, even with all the highly cultural performance aspects of her live show, you always get the sense she is having brilliant fun. Silly dancing, outlandish costumes and stomping around the stage like a little sparrow – you don’t get that at an Oasis gig.
:: This – minus the half hour of noodling balladry – is exactly how popstars should be.
:: Roisin is, let’s be honest here, incredibly fit.
:: Let’s have a video to celebrate:

Very good.

Read more stuff like this at this exciting music blog.

OH GIVE IT A REST

2008-11-27T21:10:00.004Z

From the Times Online:

Come on now. Enough of this. Isn’t it time, after 12 long months, for the Ting Tings to stop giving it the wide-eyed, Noel-from-Hear’say, “we didn’t expect any of this it’s just amazing that it’s happened to us we were just ourselves and look what happened to little old us” act and get on with making their second album?

What are they grateful for and baffled by, anyway? Sony’s massive investment and subsequent meticulously orchestrated promo campaign? Or the simple fact that no one stopped them putting ‘Traffic Light’ on their debut?

It was around this time last year we wrote about the Ting Tings live before anyone else in the world had even written about them but after everyone who had already done it had done it. Go us.

HRNK! Last minute club-based Italo 'sesh' alert

2008-11-26T13:21:00.007Z

Anyone wishing to soak up the last few drops of 2008’s Great Italo Goldrush should head to the Deaf Institute-based Now Wave tonight, where they’ve got Little Boots and Heartbreak dishing out ice cold electro upstairs from 10pm.

We saw Little Boots twice in the space of one weekend recently and she only got better between shows. From this, we can scientifically deduce that tonight’s set will be PROPERLY FUCKING AMAZING.

Let’s have a video of Little Boots and Heartbreak to celebrate.

That was them doing a cover of International Music System's ‘Dancing Therapy’. FYI.

Tickets for Now Wave featuring Little Boots and Heartbreak are available from Piccadilly Records, behind the bar at the Deaf Institute or, if you’re the lazy sort, on the door. You can now get more alerts and chatter like this on a shiny new Manchester club blog.

The seven best bits of Kanye West's Glow In The Dark live show

2008-11-20T15:34:00.004Z

Kanye West, of number one human being fame, played in town on Monday. To call the show spectacular would be – and we really can’t be bothered thinking of a simile here – an understatement.

Here are the top seven bits of the gig:

:: The bit where a giant space monster with red eyes came on stage and ate Kanye West

:: The bit where Kanye West told a spaceship that he “just needed some pussy”

:: The bit where Kanye West played Stronger

:: The bit where Kanye West did this little ‘spinning-on-the-spot’ dance

:: The bit where Kanye West apologised for having ruined all other gigs for the rest of time by bringing the spectacular Glow In The Dark show to Manchester.

:: The bit where some giant balls with pictures of blow up dolls projected onto them descended from the ceiling towards Kanye West and he had a little natter with them

:: The bit where Kanye West played a 47-minute version of Love Lockdown to finish

We’ve got some photos of the gig, courtesy of our incredibly professional live snapper, that we’ll ‘whack up’ when we get a minute. We went to the show to review US sensation Santogold’s support slot. This is because we had a deep interest in checking out her live set and definitely not because we just wanted free tickets to go and see Kanye West. Have a look at the Santogold review.

Solange is better than Beyoncé

2008-11-20T15:33:00.001Z

We went to watch Beyoncé’s little sister Solange at Manchester’s glamorous the Ruby Lounge the other night. It was very good. It was a lot better than we thought it was going to be actually.

We reviewed said gig for the local paper, although they chopped the bit out where we said Sandcastle Disco was like “the sort of handbag heartbreak that Holland-Dozier-Holland would surely have crafted if they’d had access to Pro Tools”.

Here is Sandcastle Disco. It’s the sort of handbag heartbreak that Holland-Dozier-Holland would surely have crafted if they’d had access to Pro Tools.

Special features of the video:

:: Drawn-on weather effects
:: Balloons
:: Drumsticks that change colour

Amazing. 8/10

The Unstoppable Team: a team that is unstoppable (except maybe with the right sort of safety barriers, although that is sort of missing the point)

2008-11-20T15:28:00.004Z

The Unstoppable Team – Get Back

Have you heard ‘Get Back’ by The Unstoppable Team? It is amazing. If songs were to be summed up on those little newspaper boards you see outside shops, this one would say

SPIKY STACCATO VERSES GIVE WAY TO SKY-SIZED MEGACHORUS IN INDIE EMCEEING THRILLER

The Unstoppable Team are a new band from Manchester, currently working their way around the city’s venues with their stylish fusion of streetsmart lyrics and arms aloft guitar pop. We’ve been in touch with the band and they tell us that they’re a bit fed up with the number of pay-to-play sharks circling the waters of unsignedville. So if you’re a promoter who is in to new music but not too keen on fucking new bands up the arse, hit them up via MySpace.

The band plays at Moho tomorrow (FRIDAY 21) night as part of that Aftershow thing. We’d be going down ourselves if it wasn’t for the fact we’ll be out of the country. Details here.

Six brilliant moments on the Girls Aloud album

2008-11-20T15:18:00.003Z

As we've already said, the new Girls Aloud album is amazing and generally filled with brilliant moments. But what are six of the best? These:

Song: The Promise
Moment: “Are you watching me, baby?”
Pros: beautiful, fragile, sung by Nicola
Cons: bit needy

Song: Live In The Country
Moment: the little dub bit where the drums drop out for a second
Pros: amazing, sounds a bit like Pendulum
Cons: involvement of Sarah Harding

Song: Fix Me UP
Moment: the one where you realise it isn’t a shit song
Pros: one more good song added to an album that was hardly lacking in them to begin with
Cons: opportunity for tea break removed from listening experience

Song: Untouchable
Moment: “Without any meaning / we’re just skin and bones / like beautiful robots dancing alone”
Pros: amazing lyric, mentions robots
Cons: N/A

Song: Miss You Bow Wow
Moment: “I rememBERRRRRR”
Pros: powerful singing, excitable expression of verb in habitual present tense
Cons: hard to transcribe effectively

Song: Miss You Bow Wow
Moment: “I’m so damn tired of your shadow breaking my heart in two oh baby”
Pros: amazing lyric in amazing chorus, does justice to the feeling of having your soul torn in two on a daily basis by someone who isn’t even in your life any more.
Cons: N/A
.

FYI we're not being paid for this...

2008-11-20T15:12:00.005Z

There’s a chap round this way we’re quite fond of called Danny McFadden. He writes about clubbing and dance music for a variety things. You may have seen him in the Metro on your way to work. He was the one making the music sound exciting.

Danny also runs enigmatic ‘n’ amazing clubbing blog/website Northernights. Which is kind of like a successful and meaningful version of hyg with content on it. To ours and his delight the blog recently won the award for Best Arts and Culture Blog at the Manchester Blog Awards 2008.

Northernights is also nominated in the Best Blog category at this year’s Record of the Day awards. Voting – for those who ‘hold sway’ only – has closed but you can still do your bit by crossing your fingers and hoping that something Mancunian and non-shit wins the prize.

Oh, have a look at the Facebook group – now with added ‘Admins’.

A Robyn video where she looks quite nice (even with old woman-coloured hair)

2008-11-20T15:10:00.003Z

Here is a Robyn video:

There was a Robyn video.

(Is it just us, or does she get fitter with every passing promo?)

NEWSFLASH

2008-11-20T15:07:00.001Z

The Ladyhawke album is beyond amazing.

Especially Dusk Til Dawn.

That is all.

(Coming soon to hyg news: ‘The Teenagers are quite good’ and ‘Tuesday is a day’.)

Another way to die by hearing something

2008-11-20T15:02:00.003Z

We all know that James Bond themes are pretty good. Who could forget Duran Duran’s sexy espionage classic A View To A Kill, for example? Although it outraged watchdogs upon release, with famed fire safety elephant Welephant criticising the “wholly inappropriate” advice given out in the chorus, the song remains a smash.

What about the golden-lunged bellowings of Sir Shirley Bassey? It is safe to say the world would be fucked without her assurances on the permanence of diamonds.

It’s yesteryear classics such as these that merely underline the pointlessness of current Bond theme Another Way To Die. Jack White & Alicia Keys’ tune is a mess of directionless caterwauling and hopeless ‘riffery’. And then there’s that dodgy bit where Daniel Craig walks over the hill with a big gun. Basically it is shit.

Which is why one bright spark has had the idea of making sure no Bond theme is ever again handled by such sloppy fuckchurners as White and Keys. Instead, this Facebook group has got the idea of giving the next Bond theme to Keane. Which seems fairly reasonable to us. And Spiralling sounds a bit like ‘spying’ said with a mouthful of Cheerios so we’re already halfway there.

Admittedly the group only has two members at present, but still. Put joining it under ‘things that seem like a good idea when it’s the end of the week’.

This post is only slightly late

2008-11-03T19:38:00.002Z

All Hallows’ Eve may have been three nights ago but that does not mean it is too late for a banging digipop remix of John Carpenter’s famously plinky Halloween theme.

Lucky, then, that Leeds-based Head We Dance, who recently started a residency (the bloodily-titled Nailgun) at the city’s Cockpit venue, have released a spooksome mix beginning with said reswizzle.

You can get it at the band’s MySpace page, along with details of their upcoming single ‘The Human Touch’, which is out on November 24.

Very good. Now let’s have a ‘hilarious’ Halloween-based monster mash-up (MONSTER MASH UP DO YOU SEE HAHAA) and then all this can fuck off for another year.

Hmm.

Girls Aloud - Out Of Control: amazing

2008-10-30T20:52:00.004Z

Here is a nice picture of Girls Aloud. It was in the latest issue of Attitude, which is a magazine for boys who like other boys (why is this photo of Girls Aloud in it – it doesn’t make sense lol!!)

Have you heard the new Girls Aloud album yet? ‘Out Of Control’, it is called. It’s got a terrible sleeve, but the tunes sheathed beneath the papery exterior are brilliant; easily the best collection of pop songs since, ooh, the last Girls Aloud album.

In essence, it’s more of the same (literally, in the case of ‘The Loving Kind’, which is basically ‘Call The Shots’ Mk II) but with more bells (and keyboards and drums and dub bits and cows) on. Brian Higgins and team continue to craft the sort of ideas-filled pop songs that most bands would chew their hands off for.

'Untouchable' is beyond amazing: a 4am us-against-the-world call to arms that could elicit socially cohesive tears from statues; ‘Rolling Back The Rivers’ sounds like Belle & Sebastian’s ‘Electronic Renaissance’, were that song to go on a Mediterranean booze cruise with Nancy Sinatra’s ‘Somethin’ Stupid’; ‘Love Is The Key’ evokes the Kinks and the Faces trading playful blows over our girls’ affections; ‘Miss You Bow Wow’ gives old favourite ‘Love Machine’ the kitchen sink treatment, while ‘Live In The Country’ ends with ACTUAL ANIMAL NOISES.

Album number five (FIVE) sees Girls Aloud settle once and for all into their position as the greatest girl group this country has ever produced. Make the most of them while they're still around.

What are some songs we have been listening to?

2008-10-30T20:48:00.003Z

In the time since we last did one of these

:: 12 boybands have split up
:: Cheryl Tweedy has wiped a tear from her eye using a solitary finger 4,371 times
:: Sugababes have been in one dodgy shoe advert
:: Four bands named after sexual positions made the top ten
:: 470 amazing ideas have been considered by Brian Higgins (per lunchtime)

and about a million songs have drifted their way through the Hype Machine. Some other stuff happened, too. Probably.

Anyway. Here are some of the things we’re listening to at the moment.

Britney Spears - Womanizer (sic)
COME ON.

Esser - Saisfied
Moody new lip curler from the sample-happy little sparrow, which sounds like a music hall full of Turkish dancers having a whinge because they cannot make women happy. He has lots of other good songs, too.

No Wave mix
No Wave club night: nothing special. No Wave’s first promotional mix: packed full of amazing, off-kilter, weirdo-indie belters. From the opening doom rock rumble of S.C.U.M., via excursions to hits by Late Of The Pier and Metronomy, this doesn’t have one shit bit.

Those Dancing Days - Those Dancing Days
Brilliant.

Girls Aloud - Out of Control or whatever the new album is called.
It is amazing. And features use of the lyric: "Gimme da ting gimme da ting gimme da oh oh oh".

Fischerspooner - Never Win (Benny Benassi remix)
We found this remix knocking about in our loft the other day. Intense arms aloft potential. One for when the lights go down and the music drops out and everyone just knows what's going to happen and then BANG it all goes mental. Very good.

Glasvegas – Glasvegas (LP)
Don't tell anybody about this.

Late Of The Pier – Focker (The Shoes remix)
Focker, LOTP’s moment of mangled acid rock business, is probably the harshest bit of the band’s debut album and usually finds itself being melded by remixers into ear-punishing beastliness (imagine being hit round the head with a sockful of wasps). This treatment, by the brilliant The Shoes, sees the piano cupboard squarely raided, in an arrangement that sounds like being forcefully affronted by Gusto’s ‘Disco’s Revenge’. ALL GOOD, as they say.

Some other stuff
Too cool to mention here.

Esser update

2008-10-30T19:54:00.003Z

You may remember we recently wrote about Esser, posing the question of whether or not he was a solo artist or a band. This stemmed from an incident that happened at a gig we were at, where Esser came out on stage and said, “Hello we’re Esser.” You can read a review of the show here.

Anyway, we spoke to Esser’s press lady, who was able to confirm that Esser is indeed a solo artist.

SO THAT CLEARS THAT UP.

Here is Esser’s new video, for the mysteriously beguiling ‘Satisfied’.

Well done, Ben.

Visit Esser’s MySpace.

What does the Girls Aloud calendar tell us?

2008-10-30T19:44:00.005Z

Nicola needs pies and fake tan for Christmas.

Amazing pop photo alert

2008-10-14T21:54:00.004Z

Here is an amazing picture of Swedish indie popsters Those Dancing Days:

Here is an amazing song by Swedish indie popsters Those Dancing Days:

There will be a live set by Swedish indie popsters Those Dancing Days at Now Wave, next Wednesday at the Deaf Institute. Will it be amazing? We’ll see.

X Factor's Austin in SEX CHANGE SHOCKER

2008-10-14T21:24:00.004Z

Last week we asked you who the little chap in the middle of this photo was. Now, we can exclusively (‘exclusively’) reveal that he is none other than Austin Drage off the X Factor.

“Who the fucking hell is that?”, we hear you scream. This is who:

Yes, it’s that one who wails a lot and makes tearful references to his family on the X Factor. Confused? Allow our sleuth Holly C, who found the original picture at the back of the internet’s wardrobe, to talk you through it:

As winter draws in and Simon Cowell starts his annual search for the next Steve Brookstein or Journey South, it’s come to our attention that for one X Factor finalist, this isn’t his first bite of the fame cherry.

According to Austin Drage’s official X Factor biog, not only has the former ‘Five Boys’ (notice the subtlety of what they did there, like 5ive but for thick people) member supported such luminaries as Shola Ama, he also took part in ‘Boys Will Be Girls’, an E4 TV show.

What the biog glosses over and for anyone who may have missed this 2006 gem, the premise of the show was to create a new band comprising ex boyband members and pass them off as an all-girl band. Because that is funny and stuff.

As the photo shows, the resulting band The Honeytraps - which also featured ex members of Scooch and Fast Food Rockers - was basically a prettier version of Atomic Kitten and reached the heady heights of number 25 in the download charts with their debut single.

Most recently, Austin has been a member of a glam rock band called The Revamps.

Bless Austin Drage and his little cross-dressing socks!

Esser is very good live

2008-10-14T21:08:00.005Z

We went along to see Esser last night. Very good he/they were too. Does anyone know if Esser is a solo artist or a band? The singer is called Ben Esser. Maybe the band is named after his surname. If that is the case, it’s clear that more bands should follow suit:

:: White
:: White
:: Black

Brilliant. Or maybe not.*

Here is a picture of Esser playing live, taken by our acclaimed ‘snapper’:

The best bit was when Esser started whacking the shit out of a drum and the guitarist played a comb.

Let’s have a video to celebrate. Esser’s finest moment to date, ‘I Love You’, otherwise known as “that one where all the food gets thrown at that guy – is it Frankmusik?”.

There are some websites where you have to pay for stuff like that.

*Did you guess who the mystery bands were? Get in touch and tell us!!!

Let's have a look at some trannies

2008-10-11T14:55:00.002Z

It's Saturday which means it must be time for a photo of some men dressed as women.

But who's that coy little fella in the middle?

Answer next week.

The swagger of a champion

2008-10-11T14:53:00.005Z

This is Britney Spears’ new video. It is for her comeback single ‘Womanizer’. For those of you wondering what happened to her last comeback, it sort of stalled when she turned up battered to that awards thing and tried to do ‘Gimme More’ despite not knowing whether Tuesday was a colour or a day of the week.

Yes it sounds like ‘Ooh Ooh Baby’ and yes it is no ‘Toy Soldiers’ but – let’s face it – this pretty much shits on everything else at the moment when it comes to the excitopop stakes.

The best bit is where she punches through the photocopy of her arse.

Justice for pop

2008-10-11T14:43:00.003Z

As predicted, the Popjustice showcase at In The City was brilliant. In an event largely populated by going-nowhere racket churners (as one record label type said to us: “There’s too much shit to pick the shittest”), the night shone like a diamond in the turd.

Daggers delivered a devastating set, cementing their niche in stadium rock machine pop and showing that their time spent with the likes of Richard X and Biff Stannard has not been wasted. Also brilliant was Little Boots, who, two days after wiping the floor with the Antipodean one in her Ladyhawke support slot, served up another masterclass in sensory future disco to a packed crowd.

We took some of our renowned gig photos at the event. The one below is of Dolly Rockers, who managed to make ‘Je Suis Un Dolly’ seem even more of a novelty misstep by playing it alongside smart, Xenomania-tinged belters like ‘Champagne Shirley’. They were basically amazing.

This is a photo of one of the amazing Popjustice posters that were scattered around the venue. We enquired with ‘PJ supremo’ (?!?) Peter Robinson as to their ‘availability’ and were relieved when he invited us to help ourselves. Our friend Danny from Northernights got this one. We grabbed one that says ‘X FACTOR IS ABOUT MORE THAN YOUR DOG DYING’. Amazing.

Overall the night was a resounding success, with the only downsides being Antigone’s failure to properly utilise their third member and the lack of free food. 9.8/10

Here is a picture of Ladyhawke...

2008-10-11T14:37:00.004Z

...onstage in Manchester last Sunday.

She was a bit boring :(

This review says it all, really.

Diminutive, tiny, small

2008-10-11T14:32:00.004Z

So, that there Frankmusik is doing the decent thing and (re)releasing one of his three best songs as a single. The track in question is ‘3 Little Words’, which first surfaced during the Dark Ages but remains amazing to this day. Young Vince has made a new video to go with the release. It features himself and two dancers doing that bit out of Big but with more colours and nicer legs.

Well done Frankmusik. 9/10

What we're doing tonight

2008-10-07T15:58:00.001Z

We’re off to this tonight. It is going to be amazing. Especially the Daggers bit. You can read a very good interview with frontman Theo over at brilliant clubbing blog Northernights.

Will there be free drinks for ITC passholders tonight like there was at another showcase we went to on Sunday? Getting drunk for free was the reason we started all this.

POP GOSSIP!!! 2

2008-10-07T15:56:00.001Z

Which authentic indiepop stars might be guilty of miming? Musos at a recent gig became suspicious when the actions on stage failed to match what was coming out of the speakers...

POP GOSSIP!!! 1

2008-10-07T15:55:00.000Z

Which entirely terrible indie band found themselves way out of their depths when supporting Mike Skinner at The Streets’ recent Manchester gig? The extraneous lot tried hard to win over the crowd, but still left the stage five minutes before anyone noticed.

The Metros.

Indie Joke Of The Week

2008-10-07T15:53:00.002Z

Which hotly-tipped young indie star is coming apart at the seams?

Liam Fray.

Name's Shaniqua and what

2008-10-02T19:19:00.000Z

N-Dubz are one of the freshest new bands to emerge in recent times and critics agree they are sure to be a big success in 2009 (CHECK THIS).

Below is the video to their current smash ‘Ouch’.

Quite frankly, we don’t know what is worse: that this turgid, invention-free dribble of nothingness could ever see the light of day, or that its writers couldn’t even be bothered ripping off ‘Trapped In The Closet’ for more than one verse.

Oh dear.

Somehow, the world keeps turning

2008-10-02T19:08:00.003Z

We see some harrowing press releases here at 'HYG Towers', but the line at the end of this one had us crying into our Coco Pops twice as hard as usual.

OMG SPOTTED!

2008-09-23T21:16:00.000Z

IN MANCHESTER: Jessica from Liberty X (look them up) in St. Anne's Square with her husband. "I think he plays cricket or rugby or something", says our spy.

It was a graveyard smash

2008-09-12T11:12:00.003Z

Here is the video for V V Brown’s ‘Crying Blood’. It does look a bit like a slightly cheap Solar Lounge tribute, but it is well worth watching anyway (the tune is amazing).

What do we know about V V Brown? Let’s have a look:

::
::
::

Not a lot, then.

Actually, we do know that she is playing at the very first Popjustice In The City showcase, on October 7 (along with Little Boots and the still-spectacularly brilliant Daggers).

More details will appear on their site nearer the date, but ‘things’ are ‘shaping up’ nicely.

There were a lot of links in this post, weren't there?

When worlds collide

2008-09-10T10:15:00.001Z

Like indie music? Like dancing? Realise how utterly incompatible the two things are?

FEAR NOT!

2008’s finest ‘purveyors’ of twee guitar pop (Mystery Jets FYI) are coming to town this Friday (12th) to spin a few records at Clique, tentatively re-forging a link twixt indie and dance that was severed when they fell out over the whole ‘baggy’ thing.

Naturally, concerns have been expressed that this mixing of indie musicians and dancing could bring about the end of the planet, like with that big underground thing in Switzerland that everyone keeps going on about. But let’s not worry. Mystery Jets, despite the cardigan-wearing contingent of their fanbase, are basically not very indie, and in ‘Twenty One’ have released one of the year’s best pop albums.

We think the dance will be safe in their hands. Still not convinced? Let’s take a look at some evidence. Firstly, this:

Does that man look like he’s going to accidentally play ‘Paranoid Android’? No.

Now look at the Record of the Year-shaped Exhibit B:

Amazing. Proof that when indie and dance collide, it needn’t signal the apocalypse.

Clique, with special guests Mystery Jets, is on this Friday (12th) at the Mint Lounge, 10pm - 3am, £6/5 with flyer or NUS.

"And THAT'S for 'Magic Pie'"

2008-09-10T09:26:00.001Z

At long last, Canada contributes something to popular culture.

Poor Noel.

PLEASE can someone do Bono next.

Thanks.

I can't take another second of this excuse for taste

2008-09-09T10:31:00.009Z

REMEMBRANCE TUESDAY
Hands up who remembers Ghosts? Anyone?

‘Launching’ in 2007, the band were a hair’s width away from being quite good. With lightness of weight and jauntiness of lick, the band pitched up somewhere between Guillemots and the Hoosiers, but ended up falling between two stools, like a drunken old woman who’s turned up late to a party wearing someone else’s clothes.

Poor Ghosts :(

Anyway. This was very good.

It is a wonder Ghosts did not have more fans. Indeed, YouTube is now awash with them, like user UnderTheStars94, who surely speaks for all of this when he or she says “I love all the song in this album and i know all the lyrics im kidna adicted(?)^^”

Blue String Pudding Funk

2008-09-07T14:00:00.000Z

Here is the bendy-bodied promo for DJ Mojave’s ’Township Funk’, a track currently tearing up MTV Dance (which is like a good version of MTV2). The dancing is amazing, but like all the best things in life, also quite terrifying at times.

The song, FYI, sounds like the Clangers getting pissed on strong cider and beating the shit out of each other in a bedsit.

(For more references and jokes as fresh and funny as that, feel free to click your way through the next 40-odd pages of ‘your very own’ hip young gunslinger).

Very good.

MEMO: WILL THIS DO?

2008-09-07T13:33:00.003Z

One thing you could always rely on Slipknot for was entertainment. No matter how bad their singles got, they always comprised the sort of hook-filled lunacy that could bring a smile to even the most sullen of faces.

Sadly, one song that won’t be bothering the ridiculometer is their new single, ‘Psychosocial’, which commits the most cardinal of musical sins.

It is boring.

Play our ‘Psychosocial’ quiz! Does it sound like…

a) the soundtrack to a wrestling computer game circa 1998?
b) old men forgetting what to do but still trying to make money?
c) brown porridge sliding down a banister?
d) all of the above?

We’ll leave that for you to ponder. In the meantime, let’s remember the good old days.

That, quite frankly, was more like it. The best bit is when he says “I can’t stand a seagull to live in my robot face” (01.15), which are not the actual lyrics but should be.

Still a rock star

2008-09-07T13:03:00.003Z

Popular ‘n’ bolshie singer Pink (pictured right) has got a new song out, which you may have heard when it leaked onto the internet about seven years ago. If not you’ll almost certainly have heard it on one of the many ‘music television’ stations that are hammering it 24/7.

What do we know about the song?

:: It is, in no uncertain terms, amazing.
:: It is Pink’s best song since ‘U + Ur Hand’ (which admittedly was only released two years ago but you can’t deny that she went off the boil a bit before that. In real terms it‘s Pink‘s first significantly brilliant single since ‘Just Like A Pill‘ in 2002).
:: It is about Alecia Moore’s split from her husband who did stuff with bikes or something.

That’s the introductions. What does it feature?

:: The year’s best use of stomping glam drums.
:: Approximately 30 choruses.
:: Delightfully frazzled, ‘I’m not coping with this very well, actually’ lyrics that convey the EXACT OPPOSITE to what they intend (an effect heightened by the subtle video).
:: Utterly amazing, stratospheric, chorus-rescuing synths that kick in during a chorus that doesn’t even need rescuing, just for 'good measure'.
:: Swearing!

Click the weird box below for the promo.

97%. Well done Pink.

The five best songs off the Bloc Party album

2008-09-07T12:50:00.002Z

For anyone yet to receive the update, Bloc Party have released (in carefully-orchestrated, impromptu digital format) a totally non-rubbish new album.

Sadly there is nothing on there to rival ‘Flux’ or ‘Banquet’ but the songs that do feature are mostly excellent, flitting from almighty rackets that sound like the Chemical Brothers falling down the stairs at an art show to plaintiff pulsers that resemble Squarepusher having a little weep at the end of Eastenders.

Here are the five best.

1. Ion Square
2. Biko
3. Mercury
4. Halo
5. One Month Off

The End.

Leeds Festival 2008: The Definitive Review

2008-09-07T12:46:00.001Z

"The guest area toilets were much nicer than the ones at V although there wasn't a Nandos and they were charging £7.50 for a burger and chips."

(Thanks to Holly C).

Evil Murmerings!

2008-09-07T12:32:00.010Z

Shut up and shhhhh it's POP GOSSIP!!!!!!!

Which messianic indie star shocked fans at a show this weekend by referring to radio station bosses in very un-PC terms? The unraveled young man seems aggrieved that they won't play his records.

Who could it be?!!

Having heard the band in question, we should point out that far from being evidence of mental health issues, a refusal to play the shit they churn out is actually a reliable marker of soundmindedness.

Picture Quiz Answer

2008-09-07T12:20:00.005Z

FYI here is the answer to our last picture quiz.

The Clik Clik were looking at ways to improve swimming provision, bringing them into line with councillors in Fylde, who are still considering ways in which swimming provision in the borough can be maintained and improved after 2008.

Since the question mark was thrown over the future of St Annes pool at the budget meeting in March the council has been exploring every opportunity to deliver swimming lessons and public swimming in ways that will not have a continuing financial burden on the council tax payers of the borough

In recent weeks the YMCA has been responsible for the day to day management of the two swimming pools at no extra cost to the council. This agreement has been necessary to ensure that staffing levels could be maintained through a period of uncertainty.

Swimming has suffered a national decline in popularity over a number of years and Fylde's pools have cost the authority around £930,000 per year to operate.

A number of options are currently under consideration. One of these involves the Fylde Coast YMCA and could provide a new pool facility on a new site. Another option would enable a local group to operate the existing Kirkham Baths as a community funded facility. A further option being considered is to mothball St Annes pool for the immediate future with the scope to reopen the facility if a suitable investor or operator could be found. However, at this point no financially viable offer has been made.

Coun Simon Renwick, Portfolio Holder for Culture and Tourism said: "We are leaving no stone unturned to find a cost effective way of providing a swimming service for the future in Fylde. We will work with any suitable organisation that can demonstrate that it can run the pool effectively.

"So far, no companies or groups have been willing to take on the pools without a hefty council subsidy and, with such poor grants from the Government, the Council doesn't have that level of subsidy; particularly taking into account a climate of rising costs and reduced attendances. The solutions we are exploring need to be sustainable and cannot expose the council to greater financial risk."

Nobody won so the prize rolls over.

POP GOSSIP: V Festival Special

2008-09-07T11:56:00.004Z

We’ve been very busy working (‘drinking’) lately, so have missed out on some of the bigger ‘things’ from recent weeks.

Having thought long and hard about the best way in which to rectify this and fill the gaps, we’ve decided to just whack a load of hastily-written stuff up and hope nobody notices.

Starting…

… now…

… with POP GOSSIP from V Festival, which happened more recently than you think.

:: Nicola GA's hair is dyed an odd shade of orange and looks a bit uneven. It is fine from a distance but looks a bit odd up close.

:: Sarah Harding has a mouth on her like a sewer.

:: Amy Winehouse turned up late (SURPRISE) in a helicopter.

:: Dougie from Travis (a Scottish band from the 20th century, famous for having a male singer called Lisa and releasing that song about it pissing it down when you lie - Ed.) was very smiley and wearing a great coat.

:: Ditto Young Knives (a band from the year 2006, reasonably well-known for resembling Timmy Mallet dressed as a lecturer - Ed.) who looked very dapper indeed.

:: At V Festival, you are never more than 10ft away from a member of The Kooks. Eurgh.

:: The popstars this year looked mostly normal size.

:: The singer from the Hoosiers is not normal size but was very smiley.

So there you have it.

Coming Soon

2008-09-07T11:50:00.005Z

Reviews of Girls Aloud (from the end of May) and Blondie (mid-July) live shows.

Just as soon as our reviewer gets her copy in.

HYG: always first with everything.

Where is Feat. Luciana when you need her?

2008-09-01T18:38:00.002Z

For the thousands of you who could not imagine Alan Braxe‘s ‘Addicted‘ without the lyric “Dib dib dib dib / dab dab dab dab / dob dob dob dob”, here is ‘Nightwatcher’, featuring Killa Kella (isn’t he that beatboxer?) and jockey Kieron Fallon.

The video is very nice to look at and the bit where Kieron says “I’m the night stalker / I’m the day walker (etc)” is quite good, as sinisterly stunted hooks go.

Flobalob!

6.5/10

OMFUCKINGGOD!!!! SPOTTED!

2008-09-01T18:34:00.004Z

IN TRAFFORD: Former Inspiral Carpet Clint Boon, DJing with some children at the Trafford Centre's swanky new Topshop.

Boon Army!

Finnegans Wake 2008

2008-08-12T20:43:00.002Z

Recently we’ve been enjoying the production work of a young man who goes by the name of The Aspirins For My Children, not least the earth-shatteringly twisted wrongpop of ‘Attention’, his amazing collaboration with thecocknbullkid.

But something has been troubling us about that moniker. Should there be an apostrophe? Is it meant to be a plural? Driven mad by the apostrophical ambiguity, we got in touch with the man himself to clear things up. Here is what he said.

"There is indeed an ambiguity. There is supposed to be an apostrophe but MySpace doesn’t allow them in the name title bit thing. I’m thinking of changing the name altogether actually. It was conceived as a bit of a joke during that 14-year-old, Hollywood Bowl, smoking, watching soft porn on Channel 5 stage of my life. Not sure what to go with now, maybe Milk Man or taxidermy ringtone society. It’s a hassle though."

So there you go. But wait. Where exactly did the name originate? Back over to TAFMC:

"It was in a poem that went:

The Aspirin's for my children
Its either Aspirin or I kill them,
Until something takes our pain away,
Lets all get fucked on smack."

A highly amazing stanza, we’re sure you’ll agree.

Listen to The Aspirins For My Children’s tunes on MySpace here.

Carra Lion is utter bollocks

2008-08-12T19:23:00.002Z

REMEMBRANCE MONDAY (TUESDAY)
WE MUST NEVER FORGET

*weeps*

Picture Quiz

2008-08-10T14:20:00.004Z

Here is a photo of The Clik Clik sitting on a boat. This week's question is

What are The Clik Clik looking at?

Best answer wins our notoriously hard-to-earn respect.

The answer to the last Picture Quiz was that it was Timbaland's studio and Gwen Stefani nearly fell off a chair there once (did she? We can't be bothered going on YouTube to find out).

Oasis - Dig Out Your Soul: World Exclusive Review(s)

2008-08-05T18:44:00.004Z

The Oasis album might not be out until October, but that hasn’t stopped the HMV website providing what must surely be world exclusive reviews of the new disc. Let’s have a little look at the user-submitted appraisals…

:: Writes ‘Mellow’:
heard new single
this is gonna be a mega album! new single in [sic] ace!

:: Opines ‘verity’:
cannot wait
this is a long over due album and i cannot wait......hopefully fingers crossed the gallagher brothers at there [sic] best.......

:: Counters ‘Leah’:
Living Legends
Roll on October 6th…. I personally cannot wait!

On this evidence ‘Dig Out Your Soul’ is shaping up to be one of the albums of the year. But let’s get one thing straight. In case you were wondering, all the reviews on the HMV website are submitted by actual people and DEFINITELY NOT PUT THERE AS PART OF A MARKETING CAMPAIGN BY PEOPLE WHO WORK FOR THE RECORD COMPANY.

A heartbeat, a flicker, a line

2008-08-05T18:40:00.002Z

Here is the brain-bending video for Late Of The Pier's amazing new single 'Heartbeat'. It was directed by promo-providers du jour MEGAFORCE, so it is definitely cool.

Hands up who'd kick Samuel Eastgate off a futon.

Like a Polaroid pitchaa!*

2008-08-05T18:36:00.003Z

Fans of much-loved Star & Garter session Keys Money Lipstick can dance their feet raw at co-promoter Justin Heaton’s new venture, the enigmatically-named Shake It Shake It!, which launches this Friday.

The night promises a mix of “old school poppers and indie heartstoppers”, with tunes ranging from 90s alt classics to the very latest brain-burrowing floorfillers. Also lined up for launch night is a DJ set by local indie tykes The Answering Machine. Very nice.

What else? Oh yeah, amazing flyer:

*That felt very 2003, didn't it?

Join the club

2008-08-05T18:32:00.000Z

Frankmusik might be taking his time with his album but that does not stop him being completely amazing. If you’re of a similar opinion, you might be interested in a new website the vocodered one has opened up to share goodies with his fans.

It’s the standard sort of ‘personal information-for-MP3s’ exchange deal (albeit with the potential and promise of being much more - secret parties and exclusive future releases are some of the ideas being ‘bandied about‘), but we went on it this morning to score FM’s wonderful cover of Omarion’s ‘Ice Box’ and can safely confirm that you can put any old bollocks in and still come out with the tunes.

Amazing.

The site is here.

Hot Clubbing Gossip

2008-08-05T18:28:00.004Z

It seems Lil Fee from The Whip wasn’t just looking for guestlist entry for her mates when she was nattering to Clique’s promoters the other week: she’s bagged herself an exclusive DJ slot at the club’s summer party, this Friday.

More details can be found here.

The first cut won't scare the children enough

2008-08-04T14:39:00.000Z

REMEMBRANCE MONDAY
There once was a German pop group called Propaganda. One day, when they were out doing German things, journalist and broadcaster Paul Morley came up to them and said, “Hello Propaganda, would you like to be on my friend Trevor Horn’s record label? It is called ZTT”, and the band said, “Yes please, as long as we get to go on The Tube”.

The Krautsynth thesps famously made two versions of their song ‘Duel’. The first, which made up the mainstream release of the single, was a fairly straightforward 80s pop song with a video that was very much ‘of its time’. The second, entitled ‘Jewel’ (duel/jewel - DO YOU SEE), was a banshee-inflected horrorshow full of blood-curdling screams and shouted lyrics that rattled along like a bad night in a porn dungeon.

Duel:

Jewel:

Which one do you prefer? Get in touch and tell us! (Don’t.)

These are some songs we've been listening to quite a bit recently

2008-08-04T14:36:00.002Z

Oasis - Falling Down (Chemical Brothers Mix)
A ‘Chems’ remix of everyone’s favourite Manc swaggerers might not seem very 2008. In fact, it might seem like a good reason to take the music industry outside for a swift kicking. But the piano break on this track is so earlyninetiestastic we cannot help but love it. For about five minutes. Last Tuesday.

Laura Marling - Alas, I Cannot Swim (LP)
Birdsong + ditties about waking up on park benches + choirs = amazing.

Twelves - Works For Me
Do you remember a few weeks ago when we said that Adele’s music is only listenable in remixed form? Well, Twelves are a bit like that, except they’re only good when remixing other people. This original composition is smooth, shiny, but ultimately flat - like a beer can that has been sat on by an elephant.

Little Boots - Meddle
Dark ‘n’ dubby madness that sounds like a thunderbolt falling down the stairs.

Ida Maria - I Like You So Much Better When You’re Naked
Ignore the wilfully ‘kooky’ styling and affected behaviour that has been compulsory for every young female solo artist since Kate Nash baked a fucking cake at a gig and instead savour one of the summer’s best scuzzpop singalongs. ‘ILYSMWYN’ bustles along like a nudist running from ‘the law’, full of exuberance, frivolity and an arseful of nettles. Nice.

Klaxons - Not Over Yet (Skream remix)
Dub Dub Dubby treatment of Klaxons’ Grace-bothering indierave smash that is the perfect audiofodder for an evening spent in a smoke-filled car feeling giggly, sleepy and bored (AND THE REST OF THE SEVEN DWARVES!!!). Whirring waves of bass wash over as the famous riff burrows into your brain and things get a bit fuggtastic. In the words of one HYG correspondent, “It is obese!” Quite.

The Verve - Love Is Noise

Bytches With Problems - Wanted
Filthy-tongued classic in which our heroines urge listeners to “fuck tha police” and “suck my motherfucking dick” over the looping funk riff from Kool And The Gang’s ‘Jungle Boogie’. A more sustained onslaught of smut will not be found outside the nearest 2 Live Crew record.

Provocative but (not) stupid

2008-08-01T09:05:00.003Z

Literally why did no one tell us there was a thecocknbullkid video out?

Highlights:

:: Cake jumping
:: Lyric forgetting
:: Dancing
:: The general amazingness of Anita Blay

9/10.

Alas, it probably won't win

2008-07-31T21:00:00.001Z

Every year around this time, Jools Holland and Jo Whiley sit in a room and try to name as many records from the past twelve months as they can. Then they whittle the list down to include only those albums which they think will make them seem cool ‘n’ eclectic in front of the public. This list is known as ‘The Mercury Prize Shortlist’.

Like most shortlists it is arbitrary, pointless and unrepresentative, but that doesn‘t stop everyone going on about it.

This year’s list has just been released (ie it was released about two weeks ago) and it features several records that we can wholeheartedly say came out in the past year.

One of those is ‘Alas, I Cannot Swim’ by Laura Marling. It is the record we would like to win the prize. The reasons for this are multitudinous, and include:

:: It is the only album on the list by Laura Marling
:: Songs which borrow the chords from ‘Lay Lady Lay’ (‘Tap At My Window’) are uniformly brilliant (see also the Sonny J album for proof of this)
:: There is a song on it that sounds like the music that plays in 28 Days Later during the bit where he’s gouging that zombie’s eyes out with his thumbs - amazing
:: It’s not often you get an album that is so full of insightful and revealing lyrics, least of all from a woman who is not yet 20
:: Songs that start off as small acoustic strums before slowly building up and bursting into heartbursting, soul-affirming epics that make you want to not care about how shit the world truly is are always welcome
:: This:

Amazing. Sadly, ‘Alas, I Cannot Swim’ will probably not win the Mercury Prize. It will most likely be Burial, Elbow or ‘Portico Quartet’, whatever that is. If it’s Adele or The Last Shadow Puppets, God has some serious fucking explaining to do.

DID YOU KNOW! The Mercury Prize is so called because early winners were given nothing more than a thermometer and Jo Whiley’s phone number as a prize - a far cry from the thousands of pounds in cash and years of creative impotence dished out today.

Is the new The Streets song

2008-07-31T20:13:00.000Z

a) a bold new fusion of fresh production and witty, incisive lyrics

or

b) a dreary, joyless mess that proves Mike Skinner really has let all that ‘urban poet’ bollocks go to his head?

Sadly, it is b).

We are actually going to pretend it isn’t happening. Therefore, allow us to present the new song by The Streets. Enjoy.

Ah, those were the days (2002).

Whatever happened to Lady Sovereign?

2008-07-31T20:11:00.001Z

Hmmm.

"I don't really do much fighting..."

2008-07-29T13:17:00.003Z

For the uninitiated, Little Boots is a lady called Victoria who used to be in a band called Dead Disco but is not any more. She is responsible for ‘Stuck On Repeat’, the giant Italo epic that has seen her catapulted into the upper echelons of Hypemachineville.

Her new single, ‘Meddle’, is not as subtle. Fizzing, thrashing and banging all over the place, it sounds like a scorned bear with a hangover going mad in a drum shop. Amazing.

We caught up with Victoria recently and here is what was said.

Hello! Please tell us how the Little Boots ‘thing’ came about.
Basically I wrote a few songs, recorded them and got some people to produce them. I sent one called ‘Stuck On Repeat’ to a few blogs and before I knew it lots of people on the internet had started talking about it. Then people in the real world started talking about it too!

Where are you going with all this?
God, I have no idea! I’m very ambitious... I really want people to see this as a serious pop project and not just a blog thing. I’m working on finishing my album, hopefully it’ll be pretty mainstream but also pretty weird.

All the best albums are. What’s your next single going to be?
I’ve got one called ‘Meddle’ coming out in a couple of weeks on limited vinyl. We’re only making 300 copies so go and buy one! After that I’m going to do some touring and see where that takes me.

It will probably take you to Hull at some point, sadly. If you got into a fight while you were there, what footwear would you hope to be wearing?
Well, I don’t really do much fighting so I probably wouldn’t know! Maybe stilettos with big spikes on the end!

Last time we saw you play you were in Dead Disco and you stood side-on to the audience the entire time. Are you still as nonchalant about your performances?
No, haha! That was only because I wanted to play keyboards as well as sing. It’s what I've always done but it’s difficult to do live because when you're behind a keyboard it’s like a barrier between you and the audience. In the future I'm going to try to focus on singing but still play bits of keyboards and other instruments when the songs allow.

Famously, your song ‘Stuck On Repeat’ is about a CD player that can only play one track at a time. What is the worst example of technological malfunction you’ve faced?
It was in my old band, when I used to play keytar. It was one of our first gigs and someone from Sony came along which was a really big deal for us. Halfway through the set, all the batteries fell out of my keytar. I just carried on playing and hoped for the best…

Did you foresee the Summer 2008 Italo craze when writing ‘Stuck On Repeat’ or was it just a massive fluke?
I was never that into Italo beforehand, apart from Moroder and Patrick Cowley, but I had the Sally Shapiro record which I really liked. It’s only since people started making comparisons that I’ve got more into it. I think people just got bored of the electro 'bangers' scene and started looking for other interesting styles.

Would you rather live in the countryside with full access to the internet, or live in the middle of the city but have no way of contacting anyone?
I love the city sooo much, so definitely not the countryside! And I think you would always have ways of contacting people in the city. Even if you had no phone you could just walk down the street and bump into a hundred people.

Very ‘Richard Ashcroft’. What is your favourite ride at Blackpool Pleasure Beach?
Haha, I can’t actually remember! I think it’s probably Space Invaders. It’s a rollercoaster inside this big thing and it’s like you’re flying through the universe or something. I think a few people died on it once so it’s kinda creepy.

If you could go back and say one thing to the teenage you, what would it be?
I dunno, maybe kiss some more boys? I didn't have much luck as a teenager. Part of me would say don't bother sticking through college and university, just do music. But then if I hadn't done those things I probably wouldn't be here now and learning is always a great thing so maybe I wouldn't change anything like that.

Thank you very much Little Boots.

Visit Little Boots on MySpace. Buy 'Meddle' from here.

Appropriation by any other name

2008-07-29T12:04:00.001Z

REMEMBRANCE MONDAY (TUESDAY)
Have you seen the advert for that car where those people jump around on trampolines holding up bits of card? It is rubbish. It is also a complete rip-off of a video made last year by Xelor. In his version the people imitate a variety of web-based animation techniques while a small chap fills in a progress bar on the floor. Basically, it had a point.

Here it is.

‘Techy‘!

Name change news

2008-07-29T12:03:00.002Z

Lovable indie types Stars of Track and Field have changed their name. Basically some American people who are in band with the same moniker started threatening them last year and then they had an arm wrestle over who was more famous and the yanks won because they got on Xfm’s playlist once, or something.

Anyway. The new name is ‘Birds-vs-Planes’. Blake from the band told us this some time ago outside a gig and we were quite impressed. We are not too sure about the hyphenation that is ‘going on’ there, but the day we join a band is the day we can decide about things like that.

Let’s have a video to celebrate.

Birds-vs-Planes play Manchester Night and Day on August 16. Details.

This could run and run (NB it won't)

2008-07-28T19:13:00.002Z

Following our revelations about Martha and the Vandellas’ time travel-based theftcrimes, we have been literally (‘literally’) inundated with further examples of musicians getting a bit Magpie-like with each other’s records.

Ranging from the obvious (“Supermassive Black Hole by Muse sounds like Britney’s ‘Do Somethin’!”; “The Flaming Lips’ ‘Fight Test’ sounds like Cat Stevens!”) to the less well-observed (“Burial stole my hangover to make his album”), the response has been huge.

Someone should set up some sort of bureau to deal with this sort of thing. While we wait for that to happen, have a listen to this song by quirky ‘n’ underrated Australian ‘songstress’ Sia. Remind you of anything?

Answers on a BRIT-endorsed postcard to the usual address.

(Thanks to Danny for that).

Take only what you need from it

2008-07-28T17:26:00.004Z

If you’re anything like the clued-up pulse-gropers we are, you’ll have been ‘hammering’ the MGMT album pretty much all year. Or maybe Edith Bowman told you to like it while you were watching Glastonbury, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that the album is amazing.

Today (July 28th - note it down) was what Michael Fish used to call a “fucking cracker” weatherwise and we took ‘Oracular Spectacular’ outside for a little listen to celebrate. It sounded so good that there were moments when we honestly wouldn’t have cared if the world had ended. It’s a heart-expanding symphony of technicolour textures that incites warm fuzzy feelings and makes even small things like pretty flowers seem Deeply Significant and Important. (Please note we have not been taking drugs.)

One of our favourite songs on the album (which is a bit like choosing your favourite orgasm from the past week) is ‘Kids’, the massive ‘n’ pounding electro behemoth that sits in the middle of the record. ‘Kids’ has been around for YEARS (since around 2003, when the band were still known as ‘The Management’) and has been the subject of many demoings, recordings, mixes and remixes in its half-decade life.

Beginning as a synthy little number that sounds like two hippy kids knocking out some half-baked electro that accidentally turns out to be amazing (the original), the track went through various changes, including the addition of a floor-friendly coda (Afterschool Dance Megamix) and keyboard harmonies that sound like incidental music from 90s television (Time To Pretend EP version) before becoming the brutal bugger we know and love.

NOTE: We found all this out on this blog, by the way, before anyone starts accusing us of doing a Raj Persaud (is it possible to copy a copycat? If ’The Pigeon Detectives’ make terrible Britrock records that are based on songs by The View that are influenced by Libertines b-sides, who has really been copied?)

If you haven’t heard the MGMT album yet, go and buy it tomorrow. If you own it, play it tonight. If illegal MP3s of it are sitting dormant on your computer, fire them up (but be careful, Feargal Sharkey’s looking for you and he isn’t best pleased). You won’t regret it.

BONUS FACTS!
:: ‘MGMT’ is not, as some believe, the name of a trendy New York drug cocktail.
:: It is actually a type of hospital 'superbug'.
:: Among people campaigning for MGMT to name their double act after themselves (effectively becoming ‘Goldwasser and VanWyngarden‘) were Paul Simon, of Simon and Garfunkel fame and Allen out of Foster and Allen.
:: But they would say that.
:: Did we mention that the album is amazing.
:: It does ‘tail off’ a bit, though.

OMFG SPOTTED!!!1!

2008-07-28T16:29:00.002Z

IN MANCHESTER: Whip drummer Fiona Daniel, trying to get someone called Nathan (there is a bassist in The Whip called Nathan so it might be him) added to the guestlist at Clique on Friday.

You can all carry on now.

Friday Picture Quiz

2008-07-25T10:39:00.005Z

You know the drill: picture, question, answer, email, prize (no prize).

This week, all you have to do is tell us

Who works in the room pictured below?

and for a bonus point

Who nearly fell off a chair there once?

Answers to the usual address.

Last week's winner is a Mr D. McFadden, who correctly answered "there are not enough numbers on my keyboard" when asked to guess Primal Scream's combined age.

He wins a plug for his rather good new mix, which can be found here.

Joke of the Week

2008-07-25T10:24:00.002Z

If Hercule Poirot, Sherlock Holmes and Miss Marple went into business and opened up a budget airline, what would it be called?

MYSTERY JETS

Hoo-rah.

See

2008-07-25T10:22:00.001Z

We told you so:

Dance move of the summer

2008-07-25T10:13:00.002Z

There is this bit in the Solange (Soul l'Orange) video where she sings 'running me running me down' a capella and does a little action to go with it.

Sadly we lack the video editing skills to show you this but if you just imagine someone doing a running motion and then pointing downwards you've pretty much got it.

It is definitely the best dance move of summer 2008.

The end.

Stealing from the future

2008-07-24T19:19:00.004Z

A special Popjustice investigation this week revealed famed girl group The Shirelles to be nothing more than time-travelling thieves, guilty of journeying forward to 2008 in order to nick Sharleen Spiteri’s ‘oeuvre’.

Sadly it is our duty to report that another girl group, this time Martha Reeves and The Vandellas (no less) are guilty of the same. They travelled forward from 1963 to 2005, just so that they could totally rip-off Doves’ seminal 2005 hit ‘Black And White Town’.

See for yourself:

Doves - ‘Black And White Town’

Martha Reeves and The Vandellas - ‘(Love Is Like A) Heat Wave’

Naughty girls. There is a fairly good bootleg made by someone called Lenlow demonstrating the above similarities, which we have posted below.

Click here (zshare)

Unfortunately the only version of it we could find has got Tyres from Spaced speaking at the beginning (it’s taken from a studenty mix we made ’back in the day’). This should not be too much of a problem though because - let’s face it - Spaced is fucking brilliant.

INCOMING 'HILARITY' ALERT

2008-07-24T18:34:00.003Z

As the amazing HRO might say, will this video go 'alternative viral'?

Probably not.

Digital Criminal

2008-07-22T19:39:00.001Z

Q: What do you get if you mix one part ‘Inertia Creeps’ with ten parts WHAT IN THE NAME OF FUCKING HELL IS GOING ON HERE?

A: The new Grace Jones song.

Yes we know we’re about ten years behind everyone else with this but how were we supposed to know it was going to be this wow-some? We were literally not born when Grace Jones was famous! Actually, while we’re on the subject…

A-fucking-mazing.

Clique is 3!

2008-07-22T19:31:00.002Z

The worst thing about amazing digital dancepop night Clique is that it only happens once a month. Having to wait four whole weeks for a fix of glitterball glamour is a real pain in our immaculately-toned backside.

Which is why it gives us great pleasure to share with you the news that from next month, Clique will be going twice-monthly, on the second and fourth Fridays.

Hurrah!

And what better way to celebrate this than by attending Clique’s 3rd birthday bash this Friday at Mint Lounge? The hedonism begins at 10pm and continues into the small hours. With any luck there’ll be some of that gorgeous punch they had last year, too.

HINT HINT.

Clique’s 3rd Birthday is on this Friday (25th) at the Mint Lounge.

Can you dig it (etc)

2008-07-22T19:18:00.005Z

Are you tired of having to go to loads of different club nights to get your full musical fix? Or disappointed by the number of them that think the meaning of ‘eclectic’ is playing five hours of unrelenting hard house interrupted only by ten minutes in the middle when they spin ’Light My Fire’ by the Doors and one Lee Scratch Perry record?

Aren’t we all.

But there’s good news on the horizon, in the shape of a new night at The Bay Horse, called Dig For Victory! (exclamation watch: that one is theirs), which aims to bring a wide variety of sounds to your ears on the last Sunday of the month.

Normally we’re a bit wary of nights like this (for reasons already outlined, and because they often end up resembling soulless treks through that particular month’s top Hypem tracks), but given the blogular pedigree of the chaps behind DFV! - James and Jon are responsible for the immaculate Yer Mam! and Black Country Grammar sites respectively - we’re looking forward to good things. And, as Jon puts it, at the very least it should be “a nice way to get your Sunday lunch to settle”.

Dig For Victory! is on this Sunday (27th) at The Bay Horse, 7-11pm.

Roll up, roll up (SORRY)

2008-07-22T19:14:00.004Z

Do you like music? Do you like roller skates? Do you like to strap roller skates to your feet and then career about like a mad person while listening to music?

If you answered ‘yes’ to these questions, then not only were you (we imagine) a regular at Rochdale’s world-famous (ie some people have heard of it) Roller City in the 80s, but you might also be interested in the following thinly-disguised plug.

This weekend sees Nokia Skate Almighty roll (DO YOU SEE) into Manchester, featuring a host of DJ sets booming out across the specially-created skate park. If you fancy recreating the roller discos of your youth, tickets and info can be found here.

FYI we’re covering this event due to its huge cultural importance and not because we fucking love roller skating and would quite like some tickets for the fully-booked Saturday night.

Dust it off and jerk it

2008-07-22T19:13:00.000Z

Thunderheist is the sort of dangerously cool electro ‘outfit’ that nobody has ever heard of and nobody ever will. To remedy this they had a sort of video-making competition on their website where they asked people to basically direct their first promo for them, which is a plan as thrifty as it is cheeky.

Rather than being deluged with footage of male Brazilian pensioners shaking their bronzed, be-thonged behinds at the camera (which is what happens every time we make a request for something on YouTube), the band were instead presented with this.

FYI the song is actually pretty good.

Recapitulation:
:: Attractive girl
:: Flashing lights
:: Tights
:: Lazy visual metaphor about wanking a penis off

7/10

Birds Need Playlists

2008-07-22T19:09:00.002Z

Our usual response when people moan at us because they’re not hearing the songs they want to hear is to tell them to fuck off home and listen to a CD instead. Which is why we did not last two minutes in hospital radio. However, some people are more open to suggestion than we are.

Like the fabulous folk at Birds Need Trees, for example. They’re seeking ear-pleasing suggestions for forthcoming nights:

"Want to hear your top-rated tunes at Birds Need Trees? Stick a 10-track playlist on the Facebook group wall... We'll pick a couple of the best and play them. We'll also let you in free and even give you a beer."

Which, viewers, sounds reasonable enough to us. Be sure to get your must-hears registered before the next BNT, which is on Saturday 2nd August.

Here comes the serious bit

2008-07-21T14:17:00.002Z

REMEMBRANCE MONDAY
It is almost seven years since R&B starlet Aaliyah was tragically killed in an aeroplane crash in the Bahamas. It is testament to the frenetic pace of the mid-to-late noughties and the high turnover of churned-out, supposed ‘stars’ we have seen since that her death seems far less recent.

Our favourite Aaliyah song was always ‘More Than A Woman’ (just ahead of ‘Try Again‘), which became a posthumous number one in this country. Not only was the song built on an amazing (and uncleared) spiralling string sample and squelchtastic Timbo beats, but the video featured a motorbike and some massive speakers. What more could you want?

BONUS FACTS
:: ‘More Than A Woman’ was the first ever posthumous number one single to take over from another posthumous number one single (George Harrison’s ‘My Sweet Lord’, in 2002)
:: Trumpet fan Mark Ronson appears in the video as a club DJ
:: When you think about some of the people who are still alive in the world today, it’s not really fair that someone as bright and talented as Aaliyah is dead, is it?

:(

Correction

2008-07-20T19:41:00.004Z

We've been asked to clarify the pronunciation of Solange's name. It is not, as we suggested last week, pronounced 'sailor lozenge'. We apologise for any confusion caused.

In fact, the name is correctly pronounced 'solar-lounge'.

We are happy to clear this up. Here is her video:

Let's face it, she's pretty much shitting on her older sister in every sense barring the literal here. 9/10

Friday Competition

2008-07-18T08:18:00.003Z

OMFG (etc) it's the return of our world-famous picture quiz! All you do is look at a picture, answer a question about it, send the answer in and win big (NB small).

Here is this week's question.

How old do Primal Scream look in this photo?

Combined age only, please. Answers to the usual address. Normal T&Cs apply.

This post is brought to you by the letter 'M'

2008-07-17T17:58:00.002Z

Things we like that begin with ‘M’:

1) Metronomy
2) Modernaire
3) Mthe remixular activities of 1) and 2)

With that in mind, you can imagine the sex gasket we blew upon learning that noire-pop rascals and friends of the blog Modernaire have ‘turned in’ a remix of Joseph Mount and co.’s ‘Heartbreaker’, taken from the upcoming and hotly-awaited Metronomy album.

The mix strips away the intricately-orchestrated production of the original (which is a bit kitchen sink at times, if we’re honest) in favour of a darkly subtle retelling that uses a tight fidgety bassline and cut-up vocals to paint a danceworthy picture of the titular aorta-botherer.

Some people have expressed concerns that the mix might be a bit tame but we disagree. The last minute or so is fucking mental if you turn it up loud. It’s the sort of track that gets better the longer you have it on repeat. It is brilliant. We’d post it for you to make your own minds up but we’ve been threatened with nuclear extermination if that happens.

What do you think of this new addition to the Modernaire remix ’cannon’ (even though you haven‘t heard it)? Is it docile? Is it amazing? Leave us a comment below!

"You're not my mother!"

2008-07-17T17:06:00.001Z

Ever wanted to see Roisin Murphy having a punch-up with Jodie Harsh? Or go on a casual night out with a few trannies only for it to turn into a schlocky John Waters-style bloodbath-stroke-farce? Of course you have, it was a silly question really. And now, thanks to the video for ‘Movie Star’, you can do just that. Get clicky:

Amazing.

We've Decided

2008-07-17T16:35:00.002Z

People who say that the Freemasons version of the Solange (pronounced ‘Sailor-lozenge’) single is “not as good as the original” are completely and utterly wrong and are only saying that in order to appear ‘informed’ and ’a bit Hype Machine’ in front of their friends. They should be beaten with a copy of the original ‘Green Light’ to underline their wrongness.

Speaking of ‘all that’, why don’t the Knowles camp just cut out the middle man and have the Freemasons write and record all their songs in the first place? It would save them a fucking fortune in repair jobs. Just a thought.

New-d (DO YOU SEE??!????!!!)

2008-07-17T11:08:00.002Z

Making music using archaic technology is nothing new - Jack White, for example, records all his work on a wheatgrass-powered four track, while Oasis famously produce their albums in a 300-year-old studio - but this video takes the practise to new levels.

James Houston, as part of some remix competition no one knew about, has ‘reinterpreted’ Radiohead’s ‘Nude’* as a cacophony of whirring tape reels, clicking fax machines and bleeping ZX Spectrum tones. That it basically sounds like a total mess is not a problem, reassures Houston: “It doesn't sound great, as it's not supposed to“, explains our boffin, using the oldest get-out clause in the book.

Have a look. It doesn’t really get going until the 90-second mark.

* ‘Nude’ is good because it is one of those new Radiohead tracks that doesn’t sound like a bag full of bollocks being smashed against a wall (see ‘15 Step’) and it was on a Skins advert too so it must be good.