15 January 2007

Don't Turn Around Now

It seems the furore surrounding ordinary Preston’s walk-out from Never Mind The Buzzcocks refuses to die down, not least on the NME.com messageboards, where bile levels have reached their highest since… well, it doesn’t really take much to wind these people up, in fact it happens all the time, so it’s hard to say. Anyway, literally hundreds of people (five) have “logged on” to register their disgust at Preston’s behaviour, which basically involved him storming out of the recording of the show after Simon “snotty little posh boy” Amstell made some almost unbelievably innocuous comments about that wife of his.

First up to deliver a kicking is retroking, who wades in with:

“What an utter clown! If you court and marry a dumb bimbo via trash TV does he really expect to go on a show such as "..Buzzcocks" and NOT have the shit ripped out of him?”
Dumb bimbo? I’d be careful there, Mr. King, that’s just the kind of affront Preston likes to “fucking hit” people for, don’t you know! If it happens in a pub, anyway. And to be fair to him, we don’t really think Preston expects to go anywhere these days without having the shit ripped out of him. It’s become part of who he is, surely.

Next up, with a few choice words for the singer, is jimgee:

“He is a right tosser! And his band is a bag of wank, to be honest my cat has made better music than him.”
Harsh words and startling honesty there. While we’re being honest, other people to have made better music than Preston include: Russell Crowe, the Prince of Wales, our mum, and Johnny Borrell.

Failing to let spelling and punctuation get in the way of blind rage is nine black alps, who adds:

“Fucking hell, Preston, your now just a part of the counter culter you once mocked in that awesome debut album, now you have to put old songs on new records sorry (Cd's) to sell albums!! Loser!”
Well that’s him told. We particularly like the little dig about vinyl there. What’s he going to be like when all songs come on bloody memory sticks or are transported directly into our brains by miniature Edith Bowmans chanting “this is going to be just huge” over and over again, eh? Absolutely livid, probably. Anything more you’d like to say to Preston though Mr. Alps?

“Stop ripping Morrissey off cunt”
Quite.

(FYI, by “ripping Morrissey off”, we think nba is referring to Preston’s habit of talking absolute bollocks about things of which he has no basic grasp when he's asked about them in interviews.)

Finally, and speaking for all us when he says

“hes a fuckin tit that preston, a slimey sneeky little fucker and he called simon a snotty little posh boy, he is too.”
is rick13, a man big enough to at least give credit where it’s due:

“as much as i hate him tho i actually like some songs off the first album, there pretty good”
Could this be the first olive branch in this vicious war of words? Has the assault ended?

“dont get me wrong tho the rest of it is shit”
Oh.

Actually, we‘re going to leave the last word on the issue to rick13, because he’s brilliant.

“tut tut bow your head in shame preston and die!!!”
That’s right Preston; bow your head in shame - AND DIE! Tire us not with any more of your “I could’ve had him if all his mates weren’t there” rubbish; go away and live married life, buy a cat, relax. Most of all, leave the whole making-pop-songs bit to people who are actually half decent at it. That’s all we ask. Now, viewers, click ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE to have your say on this story!

No comments: