Ten Things About Mika That We Learnt Last Week

1. Last Week, Mika went to the top of the official chart on downloads alone.

2. That is to say, downloads, and a massive wave of hype.

3. Mika has been described as looking like the lovechild (tabloid for ‘bastard’) of Jake Shears and Leo Sayer. This is interesting, because Mika is better looking than Leo Sayer to precisely the same degree to which he is uglier than Jake Shears.

4. Mika was born in Lebanon in 1983, and lived in Paris for eight years. But don’t worry, Daily Mail readers, he’s not actually foreign - he’s lived in London since he was nine.

5. Mika says that his “thing” is creating “huge-sounding pop songs”. Big round of applause for Mika and his thing, it’s about time someone did, etc. etc.

6. When Victoria Newton says that Mika “topped all the critics’ lists of who will be the name of 2007“, don’t for one second think that includes her or her list.

7. Despite his “angular face” (thank-you, Victoria), Mika is actually quite good-looking, but not as good-looking as a lot of people seem keen to make out.

8. That’s you, Paul Smith.

9. ‘Grace Kelly’ is actually rather brilliant, when you look at the evidence. Seriously, FUCK OFF now.

10. We like Mika because in his video he dances in exactly the same way as we dance in our bedroom, except he does it in front of a camera with a bloody big striplight in his hand, and loads of “supporting artists” running everywhere. This is the best thing we learnt about Mika last week.