Twangin' Out

Sadly for fans of music everywhere The Twang released their debut album this week. If you haven’t heard it, just imagine sticking your head in a bucket of water and running at a photograph of the word POINTLESS until you knock yourself out and drown.

Here are nearly ten reasons why The Twang should call it a day with immediate effect.


:: No band needs two singers unless that band is Simon & Garfunkel, in which case it is something of a necessity, but no less of a bad thing.

:: Releasing a debut single that sounds like your dad fronting The Mock Turtles is really no way to start a career.

:: The only good thing to ever come out of Birmingham is trains to other places.

:: While Twang might be a good name to describe what teenage boys do to girls’ bra straps, it goes without saying that it’s an absolutely terrible name for a band.

:: FYI, the band reportedly had to change their name (from ‘Neon Twang’) after their fans’ violent behaviour at pub gigs (including beating up people who weren’t there to see the band) threatened to hinder their career.

:: Which is lovely, is it not?

:: http://www.hmv.co.uk/hmvweb/displayProductDetails.do?ctx=280;-1;-1;-1&sku=401080

:: Swearing is both big AND clever, but when every other word you use in interviews is an expletive it might be time that you bought yourself a dictionary.

:: Not even the NME could pretend not to be disappointed with the album.

:: The name Phil Etheridge is clearly more suited to a darts player than it is to a singer.


And there you have it. Obviously this is a conclusive list and no debate regarding a further career for The Twang will be entered into whatsoever. Now could someone send them into the office so they can get their P45s?