Kelly Osbourne, as director of both the BBC and News Corporation’s in-house counselling services, is more than qualified when it comes to giving advice. It should come as no surprise, then, that after 12 years’ loyal service, both organisations recently allowed Kelly to start offering support to the public, via Radio 1’s Sunday Night whinge thing and the pages of The Sun newspaper respectively.If Kelly’s help is good enough to get a trouserless Greg Dyke down from the roof of Television Centre at four in the morning, it’s good enough for the rest of the population.
It’s just a shame that some of them couldn’t be bothered to think of their own problems, as these examples from Miss Osbourne’s first Sun column show.
“Hiya Kelly,
I have been all over the place the last few months and have taken an overdose and self-harmed. I have been getting help but I feel like I’m getting worse. Please could you give me some advice. I really could do with it. Chris”
“Hiya Kelly,
I’m a 14-year-old girl and I have taken an overdose. I drink alcohol a lot and I self-harm. In the last few weeks my friends have been getting into drugs and I don’t want to. I want to go out with them but I don’t want to get in with the drugs. Please help me, Kelly, I could do with it. Katie”
He doesn’t mention it but Chris’s friends are probably on drugs too. Kids these days are so unimaginative. And what’s wrong with being off your box 24/7? It certainly makes going to church more fun. All our best friends are on drugs. It’s just how things are.
If you would like your problem to be ignored and made up by a sub-editor, email everyone’s favourite teen trouble shooter at kelly.osbourne@the-sun.co.uk.
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