Another way to die by hearing something

We all know that James Bond themes are pretty good. Who could forget Duran Duran’s sexy espionage classic A View To A Kill, for example? Although it outraged watchdogs upon release, with famed fire safety elephant Welephant criticising the “wholly inappropriate” advice given out in the chorus, the song remains a smash.

What about the golden-lunged bellowings of Sir Shirley Bassey? It is safe to say the world would be fucked without her assurances on the permanence of diamonds.

It’s yesteryear classics such as these that merely underline the pointlessness of current Bond theme Another Way To Die. Jack White & Alicia Keys’ tune is a mess of directionless caterwauling and hopeless ‘riffery’. And then there’s that dodgy bit where Daniel Craig walks over the hill with a big gun. Basically it is shit.

Which is why one bright spark has had the idea of making sure no Bond theme is ever again handled by such sloppy fuckchurners as White and Keys. Instead, this Facebook group has got the idea of giving the next Bond theme to Keane. Which seems fairly reasonable to us. And Spiralling sounds a bit like ‘spying’ said with a mouthful of Cheerios so we’re already halfway there.

Admittedly the group only has two members at present, but still. Put joining it under ‘things that seem like a good idea when it’s the end of the week’.

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