Why are you releasing ‘Gravity’s Rainbow’ as a single? Admittedly it is quite good, once you get over that ridiculous guitar part, but why must we endure a re-release of what is essentially your sixth-best song?
Clearly, what you should have done now is released ‘As Above, So Below’. This would result in MASSIVE PLAYLIST DOMINATION at Radios 1 and 2, hours of television exposure and a lot more people buying your album.
THEN!!
Wait a few months before releasing a double a-side of ‘Totem On The Timeline’ and ‘Not Over Yet’, allowing lots of people to dance the summer away in sweaty nightclubs and at “terrace barbeques“, whatever they are.
This plan of action is basically the only sure-fire way to
a) ruin your career
or
b) make it a lot better.
If it all goes well you will be incredibly popular millionaires by October. If it goes badly you will probably have to release ‘Gravity’s Rainbow’ as a “saving exercise”, making the intervening months fairly pointless, but at least you will have tried.
And isn’t that the most important thing?
Hip Young Gunslinger
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