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TRACK OF THE WEEK
Robyn - Konichiwa Bitches

This is a story about a Swedish girl called Robyn.

When Robyn was young, she moved to America to become a WORLD FAMOUS POP STAR. Not everything went to plan for her though. Lots of bossy record people kept telling her what to do, but Robyn wanted to do things “on her own terms”. This upset Robyn.

Tired, she moved back home. It was there that she met a band called The Knife. Robyn liked The Knife. She liked how they made insane songs sound poppy; how they crammed about a million ideas into each three-minute masterpiece.

Robyn was inspired. Without delay, she set about creating her own pop music. Eventually the music Robyn was making got so good, she realised how silly it would be not to release it in that place all pop stars dream about, the United Kingdom - Home Of Pop Music!

And this is where we find ourselves. Robyn is releasing ‘Konichiwa Bitches’ in the UK, as a proper single, with a proper video and everything. But has it been worth the wait?

Of course it’s been worth the fucking wait.

‘Konichiwa Bitches’ is amazing; 183 seconds of dizzying beats, bleeps and bombs, held together by a playschool-style rap from Robyn, where she basically goes over how brilliant she is, and how she is very probably going to beat us up.

By the time she starts jumping up and down all over the chords from The Cure’s ‘Close To Me’, you’ll be on the floor, ready to submit and pledge a lifelong allegiance to Robyn’s superpop cause. It is quite simply a brilliant song by a brilliant performer.

If all that sounds like your cup of tea, and it fucking well should, ‘Konichiwa Bitches’ is available now. If not, you deserve to be locked in a room with a Dido album for the rest of your life. It really is that simple.