Something about "turning it up to 11"

Rock music is a funny old thing. The older it gets, the funnier it becomes.

Think about it: middle-aged men running about in catsuits and perms, throwing ridiculous poses and yodelling about “lurve” and things like that.

And that was just The Darkness!

BOOM BOOM.

No, much better now that we’ve got clean young boys like the Arctic Monkeys, in their smartcasual clothes and neat haircuts, singing songs about everyday subjects we can all relate to.

Or is it?

Not according to some. Indeed, there’s been a resurgence of late in young men picking up their guitars with the intention of performing acts rather more righteous than riffing over the top of a song about missing the bus because you got dumped.

And there’s a distinctly old-school flavour to what results. Out go clipped, staccato riffs and beats and in come HUGE BIG BASTARD GUITARS, pounding drumlines - and, if you’re very lucky - a bit of synth for good measure. Rock On!

Two such bands are JOON and Darke Horse. The former, all power, synths and melody; the latter: straight-down, hard-riffing noise. Both equally retro-rock-tastic.

And while it might appear that this resurgence we’re touting features only two bands, that’s still a hell of a lot more than the bloody New Acoustic Movement ever got, so what does that tell you? Eh? EH? What does that tell you?

The JOON factfile:

> They’ve got a singer and keyboardist but - get this - it’s the same guy
> Other bands with this ‘set-up’ include The Killers
> Although JOON don’t really sound much like The Killers
> ‘Walk Like You Don’t Care’ is brilliant
> The guitarist has impressive hair - in line with rule 271 of the rock statute book
> They REALLY know how to put on a show
> This is what they look like:

> They look a bit ill in that photo but rest assured they're healthy in real life

The Darke Horse factfile:

> They are from Sheffield
> Other bands with this ‘set-up’ include Pulp
> ‘Text Me Back’ is brilliant…
> …and in one line manages to use McFly as part of quite a lengthy simile
> They dress like a soft indie band but play like proper bastards
> ROCK HANDBAGS ALERT! Sources close to the band (ie the guitarist’s girlfriend’s cousin) tell us that they hate the Arctic Monkeys (it’s something to do with rehearsal space)
> This is what they look like:

We’ll leave it up to you to decide whether this ‘new wave of old rock’ is all it’s cracked up to be (clue: it is if you‘re in the mood) by clicking here and here. Enjoy!

Spinning Around

Robyn - Robyn
Finally! Review soon.

Darke Horse - Text Me Back
Ace new old metal (metal!!) from Sheffield. Includes a diss-tastic McFly reference. We’ll be writing about this band at some point, they’re very good.

DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince
- Boom! Shake The Room
Will Smith don’t gotta cuss in his raps to sell records, and nor does he to get on our playlist. Actually features some priceless lines, this: “I see the one I wanna sic come here cutie/I flip 'em around and then I work that booty” - that’s what Justin really means when he talks about rocking your body.

Dragonette - Take It Like A Man
At the age of 15, hip young gunslinger wrote a letter to the NME about wanting to hug the chorus of ‘Hard To Explain’ by The Strokes. This makes us want to do the same. The hugging, not the writing letters to NME.

Manic Street Preachers - Your Love Alone Is Not Enough
Marginally better than that ‘Underdogs’ tripe, mainly due to the involvement of Nina from the Cardigans and her lovely voice.

*NSYNC - Pop
The second blast from our slightly-less-distant past. This is BRILLIANT, and will one day be seen as a very important pop song.

Ghosts - Stay The Night
The fashion police will lock us up and throw away the key, but this Feeling-meets-Guillemots stomp never fails to incite toe tapping with its bouncy melodiousness. What better way to usher in spring than with lightweight guitar pop?