Something about "turning it up to 11"

Rock music is a funny old thing. The older it gets, the funnier it becomes.

Think about it: middle-aged men running about in catsuits and perms, throwing ridiculous poses and yodelling about “lurve” and things like that.

And that was just The Darkness!

BOOM BOOM.

No, much better now that we’ve got clean young boys like the Arctic Monkeys, in their smartcasual clothes and neat haircuts, singing songs about everyday subjects we can all relate to.

Or is it?

Not according to some. Indeed, there’s been a resurgence of late in young men picking up their guitars with the intention of performing acts rather more righteous than riffing over the top of a song about missing the bus because you got dumped.

And there’s a distinctly old-school flavour to what results. Out go clipped, staccato riffs and beats and in come HUGE BIG BASTARD GUITARS, pounding drumlines - and, if you’re very lucky - a bit of synth for good measure. Rock On!

Two such bands are JOON and Darke Horse. The former, all power, synths and melody; the latter: straight-down, hard-riffing noise. Both equally retro-rock-tastic.

And while it might appear that this resurgence we’re touting features only two bands, that’s still a hell of a lot more than the bloody New Acoustic Movement ever got, so what does that tell you? Eh? EH? What does that tell you?

The JOON factfile:

> They’ve got a singer and keyboardist but - get this - it’s the same guy
> Other bands with this ‘set-up’ include The Killers
> Although JOON don’t really sound much like The Killers
> ‘Walk Like You Don’t Care’ is brilliant
> The guitarist has impressive hair - in line with rule 271 of the rock statute book
> They REALLY know how to put on a show
> This is what they look like:

> They look a bit ill in that photo but rest assured they're healthy in real life

The Darke Horse factfile:

> They are from Sheffield
> Other bands with this ‘set-up’ include Pulp
> ‘Text Me Back’ is brilliant…
> …and in one line manages to use McFly as part of quite a lengthy simile
> They dress like a soft indie band but play like proper bastards
> ROCK HANDBAGS ALERT! Sources close to the band (ie the guitarist’s girlfriend’s cousin) tell us that they hate the Arctic Monkeys (it’s something to do with rehearsal space)
> This is what they look like:

We’ll leave it up to you to decide whether this ‘new wave of old rock’ is all it’s cracked up to be (clue: it is if you‘re in the mood) by clicking here and here. Enjoy!

We are but men, ROCK!!

A LIVE REVIEW
JOON, Manchester Hard Rock Cafe, 9 March 2007

Sometimes things just don’t matter. A headache. Too much booze. No money. Not enough booze. Sometimes you encounter something that is so much fun, cares like these become irrelevant and all you want to do is jump around and throw your arms skywards.

This is the case with JOON, pictured above in yet another example of our incredibly professional gig photography, a real band with real instruments who we went to watch at the weekend. They were playing at Manchester’s Hard Rock Café, which, as gig venues go, is not the most ideal. Putting bands on there is a bit like asking a rugby team to play a match in Walkabout, but they dealt with it admirably.

At first we didn’t really know what to expect. We had been told they were “a rock band”, three fearful words which brought to mind the time we spent at university watching useless sods in shit clothes not play their instruments very well.

Luckily, watching JOON is nothing like this.

They take to the stage guns blazing, efficiently and LOUDLY setting out their manifesto. True, JOON are a rock band, but they’re far from mediocre. Everything - from the tunes, to the clothes, to the hair - is cranked up to 11. If this band saw a half measure, they’d probably triple it and then give it a kicking for being a half measure in the first place. It is, quite frankly, that kind of thing.

That is not to accuse them of mindless bombast though, or a cynical Darkness-like knowingness. One thing you really take away from JOON is the sense that they genuinely love what they do. They’ve clearly spent a lot of time in the company of the records they roll out as covers tonight, and it shows in their own material as well as their persona. Their love of Free, Europe et al shines through in songs like ‘Walk Like You Don’t Care’, and they look so comfortable performing the covers you’d think they’d written them themselves.

If your 80s Power Rock Alarm has just gone off, do not fret. Fashion is not something you should worry about when faced with a band like JOON (besides, ‘Addicted To Love’ is amazing and anyone who says it isn’t is either wrong or a liar). What lies here is a fun, idiosyncratic, smile-inducing party of a band. Just let your hair down, let your guard down and give in to the power.